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Song Parodies -> "Goldilocks (breaking chairs of grizzlies)"

Original Song Title:

"Takin Care of Business"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Goldilocks (breaking chairs of grizzlies)"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

I walked 'til I was weary
Then I found a forest clearing
With the thing for which I had been hopin
It was bigger than my house and
I thought that I'd check it out since
It's front door somehow was wide open

I saw a table full
Of a type of cereal
It looked like quaker oats but it was not
Although I already ate
At the time, it seemed a great
Idea to test out what they had got

So I was tasting their porridge and, one's too hot
Tasting their porridge this, hurt a lot
I was tasting their porridge one's cold as ice
Tasting their porridge and this one is just right
Pigged out!

Well after eating their breakfast
I think I should have fled fast
So the owners would not attack me
But since I'm not very bright
I did what I felt like
Which was to sit in a chair just relaxin'

In one chair I tried to sit
But I was too big to fit
Second chair was too big for me
The last one was just fine
Sat for such a long time
That now the chair is broken, oopsie!

I tell you breaking chairs of grizzlies is real bad
Breaking chair of grizzlies makes them mad
Stay away from grizzlies' rocking chairs
Breaking chairs of grizzlies will irk the grizzly bears

The events that transpired
Served to make me quite tired
So I went up to the sleeping quarters
One was too soft just like lard is
One was really much too hard which
Did not feel just like a bed oughtta

And on my final try
Well I was out like a light
And dreamt the house's owners had come back
Noise awoke me from that dream
And soon I began to scream
I just about had a heart attack

Since I was facing bears with big fists - fists of rage
Facing bears with big fists - I'm no sage
But when facing bears with big fists - then I know
Facing bears with big fists means that it's time to go

Making for the exit, woo
Making for the exit
Making for the exit, yup
Making for the exit

Maybe I'd face prison, if more big
Blame goes to my parents, since I'm six
Racing from the grizzlies, all downhill
Racing from the grizzlies - ha ha they took a spill

Raiding where there's grizzlies
Tasting their porridge, yeah
I was breaking chair of grizzlies
I was facing bears with big fists
Then, racing for the exit
Place blame on my parents

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   3
 5   1

User Comments

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Billy Florio - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Tone, how do you write these? lol, I loved it...and I gave all 5s
Pat - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Hmm...good idea to use a nursery rhyme (as I drag out some nursery rhymes for inspiration. lol) Good job!
Wild Man - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Good job.
Meriadoc - August 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Very whimsical
al - August 07, 2003 - Report this comment
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe! Sooooooo funny , I have already read the story , but the song is really funny. Maybe do a parody about Little Red riding Hood.
Claude Prez - August 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Wow! This was great, and creative as hell! (Interestingly, I once did this song but never submitted it; it was called "Breaking all the Dishes", and actually contained the word 'oopsie'.) Okay, that wasn't very interesting, but I just had to mention it. Anyway, hilarious title and very well done.
Leo Jay - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very clever!
Adagio - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very good and interesting.
Melhi - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
G-rated fun at its best!
Johnny D - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Clever, well-written.
Paul Robinson - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very clever, well-written parody, Ethan. 5's - is bogging down for me...took a long time to post my vote and get back to comment. Will come back later to look at more of the "G" contest entries.
Jack Wilson - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC)Very clever! 555! - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Love it. Love it. Love it. One of your best, E-thang, and that's saying a lot.
Claude Prez - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Yep. Still wish I'd thought of it. Very good.
Meriadoc - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Second look. Yep, still excellent! "looked like Quaker oats but it was not" "pigged out!" "ooopsie" all were great.
John Jenkins - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever concept, well executed, and good conclusion.
Jeff Reuben - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Just had to grin and bear it =) Good job!
Tokusou Sentai Blessranger - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah. Look for another BTO parody,"None Of Your Business" and put a comment on a Blessranger song parody that needs at least one comment.
2nz - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice one, Ethan. Sometimes a little hard to follow, but that's more the original song than you.
MysteryGoat - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny song, good job dude.
martha - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
very sweet .. loved the line about blame goes to my parents cos I'm only 6
Lee Rasiel - November 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh no not another parody about a nursery rhyme or a simple, mediocre fairy tale. I like the song you made a parody of but I do not like the story. You need to stop writing parodies about nursery rhymes, or simple stories. beginning this month or the month after that stop writing parodies about what I said above for the rest of eternity, and write more parodies about Peter Pan, or The Jungle Book, Harry Potter, Robin Hood, and many other sophisticated stories.
BOBBY - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment

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