Billy Don't Be A Pitchman

The shouting man awoke me from slumber
His yelling grated on my mind
He tells me that I need to buy Zorbeez
It only costs nine ninety nine
I thought of little Billy's mama
Her words to him were very plain
But now she must have been so down hearted
The little guy was just too vain

Billy, don't be a pitchman, don't sell a tool or a knife
Billy, don't be a pitchman, do something nice with your life
And as he started to go, she said Billy keep your voice low-o-oh
Billy, don't be a pitchman, stay off TV

He likes to use the in-your-face sales pitch
He sometimes sounds just like a cow
The loudmouth cried you've got to have Orange-Glo
You've got to have this product now
Your stain will disappear in seconds
And it will cost you less than ten
And don't forget to buy Mighty Mend-it
Ignored the words his mama said

She said
Billy, don't be a pitchman, don't sell a tool or a knife
Billy, don't be a pitchman, do something nice with your life
And as he started to go, she said Billy keep your voice low-o-oh
Billy, don't be a pitchman, stay off TV

I heard his mama caught him on TV
She saw what Billy sold that day
She looked upon the new Grater Plater
She thought it looked a little gay
I heard she disowned Billy that day...