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Song Parodies -> "Shredding of the Cards"

Original Song Title:

"Changing of the Guards"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Shredding of the Cards"

Parody Written by:

Leo Keough

The Lyrics

Umpteen cards
Umpteen tempers ignited over the deal
Where the good credit dies
Desperate men, desperate women united
Shredding their cards 'neath the falling skies

Prime rate falls
We step forth from despondence, to a ray of hope
Merchantile thieves, hungry for green, our last rate gone down
She's fallen deep to the level where we can cope
A late autumn's eve, from nearly drowned

The cold-blooded goon
The bandit wades in through the acquisition
Sending his thoughts to a devoted board
His decrepid soul is beyond decomposition
The bandit is down but still believing that his moves will reap reward

They raise our rates
We are torn between usury and an opt-out
A message had arrived 'neath a stack of junk mail
We nearly threw away when we went to take the trash out
Wallowing now, debts are mountin', we are destined to fail

We grovel at their feet
We forecast destruction of our riches
By the witches of lending and their heartless guru
Corporate chiefs and treacherous young grinches
Are handing out the pink slips like they'd given to you

The chalice of fears
Where grog nectars are collected
The endless woes and the railing of whines
The message rooms where our misery is projected
Where the angered voices whisper to the souls they have met online

We call them up
Forty-eight million strong, our voices quaking
Near broke and drained, out of options and falling fast
We're begging to know what treasures they now will be taking
They're pulling us down and we're clutching on to our dreams of the past

Gentlemen, we say
We don't need your organization, we've all been used
We've smoothed your fountains and parked your cars
Your city is burning, and so get ready for some litigation
Because your hearts must face the carnage of the shredding of the cards

Peace will come
With prosperity and spending on the wheels of cash
But we'll light up no cigars till our plastic's in shards
And cruel debt's dismembered by our steel spokes a-slashin'
Between the legs of the jack of cards

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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alvin - February 12, 2009 - Report this comment
wow...great job on a tough fave of the day
John Barry - February 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Fantastic summation of how far we've fallen.
Timmy1000 - February 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Great job - I was alternating between laugh and cry as this may be too close to reality.
TJC - February 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Leo, this is a truly incredible lament-ampooning of the incredibull situation that has befallen us!
John Jenkins - February 12, 2009 - Report this comment
I thought this was going to be about Ben Roethlisberger's performance in the Super Bowl, but excellent spoof of one of the causes of the recession. Very vivid last line!
Leo Keough - February 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks all...Interesting take about the Cardinals, John. That thought never occurred to me when I was writing this. The parody title would have worked just as well for your theme idea. Why don't you have a go at it?

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