I slammed down a six pack
Before I started on my Jim Beam
I'll destroy my liver
As I puke up blood in my latrine

All night long I slam my drinks
I'll pass out when I'm satisfied
I totaled my mom's new car
Don't want to walk give me a ride

Can you help me?
I can't pay my tab
Oh yeah

I need someone to watch me
I'm dancing nude in your front yard
You can find your way to your own happiness,
Drink 'till your blind

Make a bong and I will drown
Then I'll throw up, can't keep it down
I will burst if I don't pee
My pants are soaked, you laugh at me

Happy to be unemployed
Drinking Boone's Farm and Night Train
I will not live a long life
Kidneys don't work now, they can't drain