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Song Parodies -> "Monistat"
Original Song Title:
"I Can Help"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Billy Swan
Parody Song Title:
"Monistat"
Parody Written by:
crazy8snake
The Lyrics
I haven't been able to get online lately because I have been playing music 5 nights a week and working a 40 hour week. As an acoustical soloist, I now and then slip in a comedy and parody song act by various artists like Bob and Tom, John Valby, Rodney Carrington and Am I Right artists. (hope ya'll don't mind). After singing songs like Dear P*nis, Camel Toe, Syphylis, and Viagra, believe it or not some regular ladies asked me to write a song about Monistat. Trying not to be vulgar here is what I have to offer them.
MONISTAT
If you got a problem, Candidiasis
If ya need relief, for that odorless fungus
Monistat,
In just seven days
Monistat
If you got cottage cheese, in your tight jeans
Monistat
It aint easy being cheesy, hubby’s b*ll's be turning blue
Your lips are red and swollen, your cootchie itches too
Monistat,
There’s a one day treatment
Monistat
He might do you Greek, if he waits a week
Monistat
Many home remedies, your beaver might think it bizarre
Tampons in yogurt, apple cider vinegar,
Garlic too
Don’t forget we love you. On the rag or during yeast
We can handle ketchup, not fur burgers with cheese
Monistat,
Sour cream on your taco
Monistat
If there’s philly on your muffin, then you get no stuffin
Monistat
Many home remedies, you just might feel like a fool
Potassium sorbate, and a boric acid capsule,
Stuffed up you
Don’t forget we love you. On the rag or during yeast
We can handle red wings, not furburgers with cheese
Monistat,
Sour cream on your taco
Monistat
If there’s philly on your muffin, then you get no stuffin
Monistat
Gonna have to bl*w me, I don’t want no cheese
On my big Mac
If you got a problem, Candidiasis
If ya need relief, for that odorless fungus
Monistat,
In just seven days
Monistat
If you got cottage cheese, in your tight jeans
Monistat
It aint easy being cheesy, hubby’s b*ll's be turning blue
Your lips are red and swollen, your cootchie itches too
Monistat,
There’s a one day treatment
Monistat
He might do you Greek, if he waits a week
Monistat
Many home remedies, your beaver might think it bizarre
Tampons in yogurt, apple cider vinegar,
Garlic too
Don’t forget we love you. On the rag or during yeast
We can handle ketchup, not fur burgers with cheese
Monistat,
Sour cream on your taco
Monistat
If there’s philly on your muffin, then you get no stuffin
Monistat
Many home remedies, you just might feel like a fool
Potassium sorbate, and a boric acid capsule,
Stuffed up you
Don’t forget we love you. On the rag or during yeast
We can handle red wings, not furburgers with cheese
Monistat,
Sour cream on your taco
Monistat
If there’s philly on your muffin, then you get no stuffin
Monistat
Gonna have to bl*w me, I don’t want no cheese
On my big Mac
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 6 | 4 | 5 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Go yeast, young man, go yeast....very clever work, here
Indeed, very clever, and very nauseating. If there's ever a gross out 3 competition, this would be a great entry. 545.
This kind of gross is OK by me, esp. with clever lines like 'Greek' and the rag/yeast/furburger/cheese. Very graphic descriptions. 555.... oh, and if ya sing something that's posted here, hope you're giving appropriate credit... and if ya get paid for it, uh, (cough) law and courtesy call for sharing with the writer... anyone who doesn't is a douchebag... oops -- new parody topic for you....
Thanks for the reviews, I've missed being around here. Tommy you may be happy, (or unhappy), to know that I have not used one of your parodies as of yet, and I always give appropriate credit to the writer of any song I play. I also want to thank you for the new topic idea. I'm, sorry if ya think I'm a douche, but i don't get paid to play "your song" ( but I was thinking of using, "Got a Tampon ", by Tommy Turtle), I get paid to entertain for 3 hrs, but if ya send me your address and if I ever use your song I'll send you your 5 cent royalty once a week. Ooooops!!! Minus postage you owe me 30 cents a week to play your song.
Giving writer's name and URL is cool... if you're only getting a ten or twenty here and there, cool, but if/when it starts totalling triple digits, a few bucks to those who make it possible is a nice gesture.... At 5 cents a week, you can wait 20 weeks and send a dollar, and the postage comes out of your pocket lol :-)
I LOL'd in spite of myself. I'm going to recommend this one! ;-D
Great stuff - something to really sink your teeth into :)
Crazy8Snake, this song is very offensive to me and probably to every other rational woman in the English-speaking world. Due to your graphic descriptions of common female illnesses, I will not vote on this song and I may not ever vote on another one of yours.
I have NEVER read anything here that has nauseated me as much as this. I couldn't even finish halfway in. That must stand for something.
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