Don’t go chasing sanitiser
You never bothered to before,
Just keep buying shares in Pfizer -
I know their value’s going to soar.

I wouldn’t leave you isolated,
I will defend your heart and soul,
We’ve been together since we dated;
Please take my final toilet roll.

Don’t go making rash decisions
Based on what you read online,
Just hold firm to cheerful visions
Hoping things will turn out fine.

I don’t want coughs or constipation
Nor find it hard to catch my breath.
I just need someone to hear and talk to
Before I’m face-to-face with death.

I need to know that you will always shun
A life of alcohol and dope,
I hope that we can find a heap of fun
While never running short of soap.

[instrumental break]

Now let’s reduce our need to travel
And let’s support our local stores,
As we watch this world unravel
And concentrate on daily chores.