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Song Parodies -> "Media Man (Epstein Did Not Kill Himself)"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Media Man (Epstein Did Not Kill Himself)"

Parody Written by:

Callmelennie

The Lyrics

This is a bow to the "Epstein Didn't Kill Himself" meme where you plug that phrase as a non sequitur into just about anything
It's five o'clock on a Saturday
The rent a cop guards shuffle in
There's an old perv sprawling lifelessly
But Epstein did not kill himself
He said "Son, you will spin out a fantasy"
Im not really sure how it goes
Make it false and so vile like my home Pedo Isle
And Epstein did not kill himself

Oh lie the lie how he died
Lie, lie how he died ...

Spin us a yarn you're the Media Man
Make up some crap tonight
Cause we're all in the mood for some comedy
And Epstein did not kill himself

Now Jeff on the floor was a friend of mine
I flew on his plane for free
And he's quick to get choked
Garrotte tight on his throat
But there's some fate that he'd rather see
He said, "Bill, I believe this guy's killing me"
As the smile ran away from his face
And I'm sure I could be a witness star
But I dont think I'll survive this place

Oh lie the lie how he died
Lie, lie how he died ....

Now Paul is a CNN fabulist
Who never attracted s wife
And he's talking to Davy, drummed out of the Navy
OBTW, Epstein did not kill himself
And the night guards are practicing negligence
As the killing man breaks a small bone
Well, they're sharing a stink they call malfeasance
And Epstein did not die alone

Spin us a yarn, you're the Media Man
Make up some s&*t tonight
Cause we're all in the mood for beclownery
And Epstein did not kill himself

It's a pretty good bribe for a Saturday
And the bag man, he gives me a smile
Cause he knows that it's me who'll nap thru this spree
And Epstein did not kill himself
And the media barks at a carnival
And the pedophiles no longer fear
And we look at his cell and we know that it smells
And say, "Man, he was murdered, it's clear."

Spin us a yarn, you're the Media Man
Epstein did not kill himself
Cause we all want to see more beclownery
And Epstein did not kill himself


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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   11
 11
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arch Vile - November 15, 2019 - Report this comment
I think I'll go one step further. Epstein is the whistle blower that Schiff won't mention. Since he's dead, they can't bring him in for testimony.
Jonathan - November 15, 2019 - Report this comment
pretty good! now, I'm a Billy Joel fan, but Epstein Didn't Kill Himself! 5s
Karnak The Magnificent - November 15, 2019 - Report this comment
Mistletoe, Drywall, and Jeffrey Epstein ... (Opening up sealed envelope) .... Name three things that dont hang themselves
Patrick - November 16, 2019 - Report this comment
Getting the goods on one of the Clintons is even more fatal than ebola. Security code ERV, rhymes with perv.
Zoe Quinn - November 16, 2019 - Report this comment
Any more word from you and I make you kill yourself. Capisce?
Patrick Henry - November 16, 2019 - Report this comment
I know not what others will do, but as for me -- Give me liberty or give me death. But dont give me this c*** nd bull story about Epstein killing himself
Random Observer - November 17, 2019 - Report this comment
Nice little witness you got there guv'nuhs. Got lots of compromising info on lots of important people, yeah? .... Be a roight cryin' shame if he was to accidentally .. well ... HANG HIMSELF! .... AH HA HA .. HA HA ...
Rand - November 17, 2019 - Report this comment
This is brilliant!
CML - November 17, 2019 - Report this comment
Cant take full credit for the idea, Rand, as I saw someone doing half of a stanza in a comment section elsewhere. But I saw the potential in.an instant. And the match between OS and theme was so perfect, the parody just about wrote itself. Didnt take long at all

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