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Song Parodies -> "He'll Always be Newman"

Original Song Title:

"She's Always a Woman"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"He'll Always be Newman"

Parody Written by:

Dr. Oliver Clozoff

The Lyrics

He played Officer Don, in “3rd Rock From The Sun”
He did voice work in “Toy Story 2” just for fun
And in “Jurassic Park” he was Dennis Nedry
He’s had lots of roles, but he’s always been Newman to me

He can lead you to hate him, or at least be peeved
You’ll be sabotaged, back-stabbed, bad-mouthed, and deceived
And he’ll oft be heard muttering “Hello, Jerry”
Yeah, he causes much grief, but he’s always been Newman to me

Ohhh... he just cares for himself
He can get what he wants, he’s a real mastermind
Ohhh... and he causes mayhem
When it benefits him, neutral evil aligned

And life’s promised him more that he’s gotten, it seems
And he helps Kramer out with his get-rich-quick schemes
He’s the fat guy who lives in apartment 5E
Holds a grudge on poor Jerry, he’s always been Newman to me

Ohhh... he takes lots of time off
He won't work in the rain, he is lazy defined
Ohhh... he can be eloquent
And he has epic rants, he's just speaking his mind

He can eat like a horse, and he has no love life
But he did Kramer’s mom, and the building supe’s wife
And for years now he’s been Jerry’s sworn enemy
And the most he will do is withhold mail from you
But he’ll always be Newman to me

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   2
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

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Jonathan - June 22, 2018 - Report this comment
Wayne Knight, right? 5s
CML - June 24, 2018 - Report this comment
Made me laugh. Last stanza especially good!

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