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Song Parodies -> "Kazoo Guy (revision)"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Kazoo Guy (revision)"

Parody Written by:

Claude Prez

The Lyrics

Always regretted that I submitted the quickie first draft of this, one of my first AmiRight parodies. After nearly fifteen(!) years, I finally decided it might be okay to give myself a do-over.
It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
My fans have all gathered tonight
There's a stinky old drunk sitting next to me
Defiling a longneck Bud Light

He says, "Mublah gah wah fugga nuhmuhba
Nubluh ma na shooshee foon."
Then he mumbles some more
And he pukes on the floor
So I get up and play him a tune

"Crap!" they all say, "It's that Kazoo Guy!
How did that bum get in here?
We’re all in the mood for a felony
So let's shove that thing up his rear!"

Now John in the john is a friend of mine
He gave my first fix for free
And he’s good for a toke
Or a quick line of coke
But there’s something that he needs from me

He says “Claude, the kazoo stuff is fine with me”
As the smile ran away from his face
“But I really can’t stand f*#@ing Billy Joel
Do NOT play that sh*t in this place”

Oh, (kazoo starts playing la de da part)
***” Motherf%#@er! WHAT did I JUST say?!?”***
*** Comical sounds of kazoo-related violence***

Now Wally’s a nuclear physicist
Who doesn’t have time for this crap
Cause he’s got cash for Mabel,
Who’s under the table
She’ll probably give him the clap

And some old guys are muttering gibberish
About wearing a younger man’s clothes
And a younger man whines
“Hey guys those clothes are mine --
U totally triggered me, bros”

Get the hell out you Kazoo Guy!
Your song has already been sung
We’re pretty sure it’s not a felony
To shove that kazoo up your bung!

So my fans are all gathering round me
And the bouncer has picked up a bat
And I know it's my face
That they want to replace
with something a little more flat

And the kazoo, it sounds just like a carnival!
If you plug up your ears and pretend!
And they sit at the bar
And put bread in my jar!
I sure wish they’d put money instead!

Get lost right now you Kazoo Guy!
You better get out of here fast
We’ll find out if it is a felony
To shove that kazoo up your ass!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.9
How Funny: 2.9
Overall Rating: 2.9

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   10
 2   1
 3   1
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - October 17, 2017 - Report this comment
This was incredible! One of the funniest parodies I've read in a looooooooooooong time! I like how you played with the original song about being a Piano Man who everybody loves into a Kazoo Guy who everybody hates! Twisting some of the original song's lines too which were odd when Billy Joel sang them but everybody gave him a free pass because he's talented such as "it sounds just like a carnival!" "And they sit at the bar / And put bread in my jar!" and "wearing a younger man’s clothes". Good job modernizing this too with "U totally triggered me, bro". Start to finish pure brilliance!
Rick Duncan - October 17, 2017 - Report this comment
Holy Crap! Fifteen years? I check here now and then to visit you guys, and I tell my friends about this site. when they say, Rick, you are good at this, I say, there's this mailman from Chicago who has me beat. (And Johnnie D, and Phil and Spaff, and John Barry, etc...
Claude Prez - October 17, 2017 - Report this comment
Hey wow! Thanks Matthias! And Rick Duncan, holy crap indeed! Thanks for the comments, it's just like old times. Except these days we know exactly who the "ones guy" is....ha,ha! Do your dance, little monkey! I wanna see double digits by the end of the day
Jeff Reuben - October 17, 2017 - Report this comment
Welcome back Claude, this is why we missed you! Great to see Rick too, who got me recording before I was recording! This is fantastic, worth the 15 year wait.
Patrick - October 17, 2017 - Report this comment
Good, old-fashioned and well-fashioned fun parody. I can picture the scene. Great twists on the original song and story. I really enjoyed this one. Liked the line about "bread in the jar".
Peter Andersson - October 17, 2017 - Report this comment
I'm sure there's a kazoophile-ophobia joke to made here somehow.
Agrimorfee - October 18, 2017 - Report this comment
First time of a LMAOAEFWT (laugh my ads off eyes filling with tears) on this site in ages. Well done, Claude. Well done. Disregard the ratings, they don't mean anything anymore.
CML - October 18, 2017 - Report this comment
I'll just echo what everyone else is saying, Claude. Probably SOTY for 2017, unless I .... (sound of paper shuffling as I check my voluminous 2017 archives) ... nah, I got nothing
Claude Prez - October 18, 2017 - Report this comment
Wow, thanks everybody! And Agri, I know I should ignore the voting, but I disagree that it’s meaningless— more ones means we-all-know-who is more threatened so I can’t say I’m not a little disappointed at a measly five sets of ones (plus the hilarious twos and threes to make it look “realistic”). But anyway thanks again all, hopefully this will jumpstart me a bit
Peregrin - February 16, 2018 - Report this comment
Excellent! So glad to see a Claude parody after all this time! "Now John in the john is a friend of mine". Hmmm! Good for you :) Lots of great lines!
Red Ant - February 16, 2018 - Report this comment
I, too, loved the "John in the jojhn" line, as well as giving him the clap, literal bread, and hating Billy Joel. Great stuff here Claude, I might try this one myself soon.
Belle - February 16, 2018 - Report this comment
Funniest song ....yea mabel under the table with the I laughed all the way through.
Rex - February 16, 2018 - Report this comment
This definitely needs a video! Maybe you can get Michael Bay to produce the kazoo-related violence, which would of course include multiple explosions.

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