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Song Parodies -> "A Bacon Fan"

Original Song Title:

"Piano Man"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"A Bacon Fan"

Parody Written by:

Mark Scotti

The Lyrics

A 105-year-old Texas woman who worked a life of physical labor and mothered seven children revealed the secret to her longevity: bacon. "I love bacon, I eat it everyday," Pearl Cantrell told NBC affiliate KRBC when asked the secret to living so long. "I don't feel as old as I am, that's all I can say," Cantrell added. Cantrell, who lives in central Texas and still dances, also told KRBC that her 105th birthday party was a three-day affair with more than 200 guests. When Oscar Mayer found out about Cantrell's love of bacon, it sent one of its iconic Wienermobiles to make a bacon delivery to Cantrell's home. (You can watch video of Cantrell riding around her Texas town in the Wienermobile on local CBS affiliate KHOU.) On that note....
It’s time right now for my morning plans,
My frying pan’s sizzelin’
With that cured meat, cooking just for me,
Bacon love, for my sandwich again....

You see, bacon is etched in my memory,
That smell climbing right up my nose
Now my bun is grilled sweet, and with eggs it’s complete
Except for some melted cheese rows...

Ooo yum yum here it comes…
Here it comes… ooo yum yum yum...

Feed me right now, I’m a bacon fan
B L T’s every night
And as I wrap all my shrimp with a bacon strip.
My food tastes like heaven, that’s right...

Now filet mignon is a steak so fine,
With bacon, it’s flavor exceeds
And that flavor awoke on my burger, no joke,
Just add bacon and you will all see...

Salad thrills, this topping is calling me
Bacon bits, the mainstay I embrace
That’s all that I want from this salad bar,
Get this lettuce out of my face...

Ooo yum yum here it comes
here it comes, ooo yum yum yum...

My quiche is so bacon filled, can’t be missed
Who’s now in the mood for a slice?
I put bacon in gravy, for meatloaf I’m saying
Tastes great with some bacon stuffed rice...

And the grease I will use for spaghetti sauce
As my bacon craft finely gets honed
They try changing my views to unhealthiness,
But I’m here wearing bacon cologne...

Living my life as a bacon fan,
Topped on my pizza, that’s right
And if you’ve never had it in brownies then,
Come over for dessert tonight....

It’s a really good taste in my Mac and Cheese
And the wrapped scallops generates smiles,
Cause it’s those bacon needs they’ll be craving, you see,
And changing their views for a while...

And the menus become much more bacon full,
Bacon ice cream cones, hit of the year,
And now bacon creams are, spread on bread from a jar,
Today plan, to enjoy bacon here....

Ooo yum yum, it’s so yum
it’s so yum, ooo yum yum yum....

Sing out real loud, you’re a bacon fan,
Wrap up some shrimp tonight
Now, we don’t have to wait for a holiday,
Just serve up some bacon tonight……

Copyright 2013

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Lifeliver - May 10, 2013 - Report this comment
Definitely beats the smell of napalm in the morning. You leave me hungry for more, and I already had a big breakfast. Esp. liked penultimate verse.
Matthias - May 10, 2013 - Report this comment
Haven't seen you around lately stranger, welcome back. Love this bacon obsessed parody even more than Denny's is obsessed with their love of bacon.
Mark Scotti - May 10, 2013 - Report this comment
A BLT of thanks to you, Lifeliver. And THANKS Matthias. I've been on quite the hiatus, working 2 jobs to make ends meet. i was still always going on and enjoying the entries. Hpoe to get back in the game soon...
Dave W. - May 10, 2013 - Report this comment
Bacon will stop my belly achin' instantly.....555 slabs
Mark Scotti - May 10, 2013 - Report this comment
Lowering my cholesterol, but raising my thanks to you, Dave!!!
Jonathan - May 10, 2013 - Report this comment
I am a Bacon Fan! 5's
Callmelennie - May 10, 2013 - Report this comment
Dodged a bullet with one cancer diagnosis and treatment (prostate cancer; treated by having my prostate ectomized) so bacon, sad to say, is off the menu -- at least for this lifetime
Barry J. Mitchel - May 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Here's how she could survive, to a hundred and five:
Cooking pork in her dive was her secret to thrive;
And bacon's the best part,
Off the "grass-fed" chart,
So she still has sung with cherry lungs and heart.
Patrick - May 11, 2013 - Report this comment
If I should survive to one hundred and five I'll give credit to Nestle Aero chocolate bars.
Maxwell Silver Hammer - May 12, 2013 - Report this comment
She's not as big a bacon fan as the guy who died after rectally inserting 10 pounds of bacon to win upvotes on Reddit. Funny parody.
Mark Scotti - May 13, 2013 - Report this comment
A double dose of bacon BLT and thanks to you, Jonathan. Saty healthy "My treat" is not for you Callmelennie(but thanks). Thanks usual. Thanks patrick, I'll washi it down twith them, and a Dove bar... To Max....OUUUUUCH..not the way to enjoy, but I do enjoy the vote...THANKS!!
Michael M - May 25, 2013 - Report this comment
I smell Bacon!
Mark Scotti - May 29, 2013 - Report this comment
And now your smelling THANKS, Michael!

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