It's Baskin Robbins on Sabbath day
The family crowd after church
There's a creep at table number three
Gettin' off on a deep pocket search

He says, "Son, do you have the old recipe
I'm not really sure what goes in
But it's gooey and rich and a midget named Mitch
He made 'em way back in aught ten."

La la la, di da da
La la, di di da da dum

Make me a split, you're the banana man
Make me a split today
Though I can't chew up food that ain't malleable
A nanner's right squishy, they say

Now John drives the truck from the nanner mine
He slips me a bunch for free
And he's got a wide load 'cause he likes rocky road
So his pants split occasionally

He says, "Biff, this ice cream, it ain't fillin' me"
As he gobbles for all he is worth
"But I'm sure that you could make a treat for me
To add extra width to my girth"

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Now Porky's a free-lance UFOlogist
Who never sees women disrobed
And he's talkin' with Tommy, who still lives with Mommy
They'd both of them love to get probed

And the waitress is sneaking my chocolate chips
As the businessman mows through a cone
Yes, they're sharing a treat they call gluttony
But it's better than gnawin' a bone

Make us a split, you're the banana man
Make us a split with haste
Though we're all on the verge of obesity
At least we're not going to waste

It's a pretty fat crowd for a Sabbath day
And the manager slips me a five
'Cause he knows it's my treats that keep fillin' the seats
Just as long as all these tubs stay alive

And the banana, it's shaped like a crescent moon
Hangin' over a creamy dreamland
At the counter they shove an amount that's above
Any limit that humans should stand

Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum

Make us a split, you're the banana man
Make us a split sublime
Though those may be the words of our elegy
We all gotta check out sometime