I play fife with a symphony down at the Park Bowl
Every Saturday night I sit in the same seat
My friend, Sam sits by me, but he really is an odd soul,
From the instrument rack, he'll grab my fife to tweet

I don't think Sam can see very well in a low light
And he, probably, needs some new glasses to own
I would not say a thing, but he's blowing on my fife
He should play on his own fife, leave mine alone..

Oh, every week it seems to be the same old circumstance,
(Yes, every week it's the same)
I don't like to get mad and scream with raves and rants,
(I don't like to)
But it's so wrong, cuz' every song
Sam is out of line,
He's tooting on mine..

He's a pretty good fifist, conductors don't com-plain
But he gets on my nerves, makes me break out in hives
I say, "Sam, holy damn..use your head and your dumb brain"
Buy some eyewear or next, you might mix up our wives.."

I don't think Sam can see very well in a low light
So he, probably, needs some new glasses to own
I would not say a thing, but he's blowing on my fife
He should play on his own fife, leave mine alone..

Oh, every week it seems to be this same old circumstance,
(Yes, every week it's the same)
I don't like to get mad and scream with raves and rants,
(I don't like to)
But it's so wrong, cuz' every song
He gets out of line,
He's tooting on mine..

I would not say a thing, but he's blowing on my fife
He should play on his own fife, leave mine alone..

(Sam, go play your own, that's my fife)
(Sam, go play your own, that's my fife)
(Sam, go play your own, that's my fife)
(Sam, go play your own, that's my fife)