I am the software writer,
And I know of what I speak:
Another high priced drifter,
Just another short-haired geek.
Today I am your champion.
I have built your killer app.
But I know the game,
You'll send me all the blame,
Claim my code is trash,
The cause of every crash,
If I miss a catch or trap.

I am the great consultant,
And you’re forced to pay my price.
The skills I did not have at first,
I've gotten paid for doing twice.
I still am getting better,
And my rate will surely rise;
Yes, my code's obscure,
Does it work, noone's sure
But they rub their neck,
And they write me a check,
And I go my merry way.

I am the ace programmer,
Worked all kinds of companies
Written java, perl and c++,
Tools and utilities.
I can't remember syntax,
My designs are often lame,
Cause after countless days,
In a Red Bull haze,
The code becomes a blur,
I start to nod and slur,
After all It's just a game.

I am a sharp designer,
It's taken years to hone my skill,
I'd love to write a proper spec,
But know I never will.
No company will take the time,
To architect things right.
So its cut and paste
When there's no time to waste,
If it was all done well
The schedule'd go to hell
So I've given up the fight.

I am the new sensation;
Talk of the internet.
So I'm out to make my killing,
Before they all forget.
My blogs are entertaining,
And packed with trite advise.
I am the pattern king,
A wiz with Beans and Swing,
I can knock them dead
With awk and grep and sed,
So they gladly pay my price.

I am your company's savior,
I'm here to turn the slide around.
A bigger egomaniac
Is nowhere to be found.
My fingers dance the keyboard,
I can walk on water too.
When it comes to code
I am the mother lode.
To sum up all these words
I am the king of nerds.
The best at what I do.