Called up Eugenia, I'd hardly wait
She didn't answer, can't debate
Now somebody else calling me ruins my fate
Somebody who's feeling numb

Well, you called up a guy who lives in Japan
Since you've asked for a Prince Albert in a can
Bad prank calls crack me up till dawn, out of hand
Now that's what they might have done
Phony phone calls are dumb
Just what I said
Phony phone calls are dumb
Phony phone calls are dumb

You might have heard "can I please speak to Mike Rotch"
It's lowering my IQ one notch
I've never got a kick in the crotch
Some phony calls can hurt someone

I called up Eugenia, but won't answer
Now who called me? My friend's grandfather?!
He says "Why've you kidnapped my daughter?"
I don't do it, you chum!
'Cause your phony phone calls are dumb
Woah
I tell ya
Phony phone calls are dumb
Phony phone calls are dumb

I'm telling you mister
You know that phony phone calls are dumb
Phony phone calls are dumb
Phony phone calls
Phony phone calls are dumb
Phony phone calls
Phony phone calls are dumb