It's evening time in an alleyway
Tsukiko stumbles on down
She's worried about fitting in, you see
And her work's driving her through the ground

She thinks, "I'm so glad that I made Maromi
But now they need another gem
And try as I might
I've got nothing tonight
And I'm feeling the pressure from them."

(Various melo-dramatic moans)

Give us a break, you're the Slugger Boy
Give us a break, all right?
'Cause our problems are too much to handle, now
And a head wound sounds perfect tonight

Now Yuichi is a popular school boy
But they treat him like he's got the plague
'Cause he looks like the cat with his skates and his hat
Even though the description is vague

He puts all of his rage on the fat kid
And he'll watch as that kid's head is smacked
"Well that sure is a happy convenience."
He's distracted while he gets attacked

(More assorted melo-dramatic moans)

And Harumi, who's Yuichi's teacher
Has the split personality of a whore
It sure sounds simple but, she can't live with the slut
So the Slugger'll even the score

The detectives are trying their leads, now
But they can't seem to connect the dots
It'd be easy if they'd seen our side of the screen
But I guess that would defeat the plots

Spare us the guilt, you're the Slugger Boy
Spare us the pain, all right?
'Cause we're lacking some internal bleeding
Why don't you just put out our lights?

It's a pretty grim sight here in Tokyo
As that man and the girl run away
Slugger Boy's grown quite large and it seems he's in charge
Of black goo that kills without delay

So Tsukiko travels back in time somehow
And she coddles her dog that got killed
Lil' Slugger dissolves and the conflict resolves
But it just doesn't leave me fulfilled

(My melo-dramatic moans for watching the series)

You're just a dog, Lil' Slugger Boy
You're just a puppy, all right?
And you don't make me scared, though I am quite prepared
To get some paranod delight.