You went downtown riding to the ranch
With your fine hunting clothes
You had the hunting rifle in your hand
And the spoon up your ass
And when you thought you saw a quail
You just have to open fire
And your eyes too bloody to see
Go on and cry in the ranch
But don't come bitchin' to me

Because you just had to shoot him with bird shots, didn't you
You just had to shoot your friend
You just had to shoot him with bird shots, didn't you
Your friend was send to a hospital
You had to confront the news media, last night
You know what everything's about
You and to have a red hot spotlight
You just had to shoot him with bird shots yesterday

They were all impressed with your tuxedo
And the people you knew at Arby's
And the story of your latest blunder
Kept 'em so entertained
But now you just can't remember
All the things you said
And you're not sure you want to know
I'll give you one hint, Cheney
You sure did put on a show

Yes, yes, you had to shoot him with bird shots, didn't you
You had to admit it to the crowd
You had to shoot him with bird shots, didn't you
Your friend was send to a hospital
You had to confront the news media, last night
You got poked fun at all the time
You had to have the front page, bold type
You had to shoot him with bird shots yesterday

Well, it's no big sin to shoot the stupid quails
You should've know when to stop
But you went over the line
You couldn't see it was time to go home
No, no, no, no, no, no, you had to shoot him with bird shots, didn't you
You had to confront the news media
You had to shoot him with bird shots, didn't you
Your friend was send to a hospital
You had to shoot him, yesterday
You got poked fun at all the time
You had to have a red hot spotlight
You had to shoot him with bird shots yesterday