Well, we all have some Mace,
Pepper spray or a revolver,
And we use them to defend ourselves
When out at night alone.
Some will stalk and some will steal,
Some will threaten to attack us,
But the worst one is the strangler
'Cause he chills us to the bone.

Well, we all walk the streets
But we disregard the danger.
We get lazy and complacent
And think "Oh, I'll be just fine."
You would soon change your mind
If you ever met the strangler.
Yes, the FBI lost count of them
At victim fifty-nine.

Don't be afraid to have some fun.
You can still go out;
Just carry a gun.
But dammit, please open your eyes,
Don't get caught off guard,
Don't be too surprised.

Once I used to believe
That a black belt in karate
Would protect me from all dangers
That I'd ever be around,
'Til I flirted with some woman
Who was really quite a hottie.
She got mad and pulled a tazer;
Left me twitching on the ground.

Since that day, I'm a fan
Of projectiles like the tazer,
Though I'm up for a good handgun
Where the city laws allow.
If you're ever attacked
And you blow away the strangler,
Then you'll be a local hero, so
Stand up and take a bow.

Don't be afraid to have some fun.
You can still go out;
Just carry a gun.
I beg you, please open your eyes,
Don't get caught off guard,
Don't be too surprised.

We may never understand
How the strangler is inspired,
But although he's truly evil,
He is cunning and he's strong.
Though you go about your business,
Stay alert and never tire.
Pull your weapon, aim and fire
When the strangler comes along.