Well, you like to keep both of your nostrils clean
But I can't say the same for your clothes
You had the tissue box in your hand
And some snot up your nose
When you wake up in the morning with you head congested
And your nose too clogged up to breathe
Go on and blow in your tissues
But don't come sneezing near me

Because you had to go and pick snot, din't cha?
You had to stick it in your mouth
You had to go and pick snot, din't cha?
You had to pull those boogers out
You had to dig those snots out last night
You had to flick them all around
You had to do it out in plain sight
You had to go and pick snot last night

They were all distressed with your nasal mess
And your shirt sleeve with the snot stains
They were sorry you could not be suppressed
You were so unrestrained
But now you just don't remember where the snots all went
And you're not sure that you wanna know
Well let me tell you honey
They're stuck in between your toes

Yes, yes, you had to go and pick snot, din't cha?
You had to flick it at the crowd
You had to go and pick snot, din't cha?
All your friends were so grossed out
You had to dig those snots out last night
Flick those boogers all around
You had to use your shirt sleeve, snot wipe
You had to go and pick snot last night

Well, it's no big sin to stick your finger in
If you just do it when you're alone
But you went over the line
When you left yellow slime on the phone

No, no, no, no, you had to go and pick snot, din't cha?
You had to stick it in your mouth
You had to go and pick snot, din't cha?
All your friends were so grossed out
You had to pick a big glob last night
You had to flick it all around
You had to do it out in plain sight
You had to go and pick snot last night