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Song Parodies -> "Ain't No Starbucks In My Town"

Original Song Title:

"Ain't No Sunshine"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bill Withers

Parody Song Title:

"Ain't No Starbucks In My Town"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

Ain't no Starbucks in my town.
Ain't no-foam Venti lattes.
Ain't no Starbucks in my town,
So I'm always hangin' 'round
Eight or nine
Shithole cafes.

Diner coffee's boiled and strong--
Gives me trickly runs for days.
Ain't no Starbucks in my town,
So I'm always hangin' 'round
Eight or nine
Shithole cafes.

And I go and go and go and go,
I go and go and go and go and go,
I go and go and go and go and go,
I go and go and go and go and go,
I go and go and go and go and go,
I go and go,

Here on my American Standard throne,
'Cuz ain't no Starbucks in my town.

Ain't no Starbucks in my town.
Dunkin's? No! No freakin' way!!
Ain't no Starbucks in my town,
So I'm always hangin' 'round
Eight or nine
Cheapo cafes...
Maybe nine
Creole cafes...
Breakfast time:
Huichol cafe...
Twelve o-nine:
Depot cafe...
Dinnertime:
Creep-o cafe...
©Bob "89 Lethal Frappés" Gomez 2018

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

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Alexander's Rag Tag Band - July 24, 2018 - Report this comment
From an old Rasmussen Reports survey: But 57% of coffee-drinking Americans express an at least somewhat favorable opinion of Dunkin' Donuts, including 20% with a Very Favorable view of the chain. By contrast, just 49% of those who drink coffee regard Starbucks at least somewhat favorably, with 14% who have a Very Favorable opinion. Thirty-four percent (35%) of coffee drinkers hold an unfavorable opinion of Starbucks versus 22% who feel that way about Dunkin' Donuts. Roughly one--in-five aren't sure what they think of either franchise.
Rob Arndt - July 24, 2018 - Report this comment
I love Starbucks, so 555!
Bob Gomez - July 24, 2018 - Report this comment
Thanks, guys. ARTB: According to a very informal survey by Pendejada Research, Huichol cafés outnumber Creole cafes 27 to 0 in the state of Nayarit. Rob: Arndt, You So Right! Cheers!
Rob Arndt - July 24, 2018 - Report this comment
Hey Bob, did I just make frenemy status with you seeing as I rated your other parody a 555 too?
Bob Gomez - July 25, 2018 - Report this comment
Yeah, man, with frenemies like you, who needs enemas?
Stuart McArthur - July 25, 2018 - Report this comment
Very funny concept and execution Bob, although in Australia Starbucks IS considered the s***hole cafe - 555
Kipper - December 24, 2018 - Report this comment
Very, very over-rated

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