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Song Parodies -> "Wean From Me (or The Octomom's Lament)"

Original Song Title:

"Lean On Me"

Original Performer:

Bill Withers

Parody Song Title:

"Wean From Me (or The Octomom's Lament)"

Parody Written by:

Stan Hall

The Lyrics

With six you get eggroll. With eight you just get this. :-)
Sometimes infants’ cries drive me insane.
all wheedling “Mommy!
Pups don’t realize
my paps don’t flow like some tsunami.

Wean from me, and don’t be long,
this has to end, you whelps can’t tarry on
for—don’t get me wrong—
I’m a-gonna need you tots to be weaned, gone.

Squeezed hollow, I’m dry,
there’ll be no drink in teats tomorrow
for they don’t refill fast as you feed
and you won’t get flow.

Tho’ on call as your mother, kids, I never planned
that I’d be just a body to feed on.
I’m not right for the job, I’m overwhelmed, undermammed
for eight greedy gobblers to feed on.

Wean from me, you gorging throng!
This can’t go on … I’m not a dairy farm.
Lord, it won’t be long
‘til it’s gonna be just bottles you feed from.

I must call on another to lend me a gland
to help feed these tots, all my screechin’ spawn.
I am frightened! They’re mobbin’ me, unruly band,
gee, I need this octet of leeches gone.

Eight bairns are a load I’d like to share—
I’m in despair. Wish
I could hit the road, leave my abode
and what’s befallen me.

It’s callin’ me …


© Stan Hall 11/24/2009

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

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 5   6

User Comments

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Christie Marie M - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice to read an Octomom parody again! Check this link out: It's a parody about Octomom! I wouldn't be surprised if her "milk" had met past it's expiration date!!!! Let me tell you, she looked like a cow when she was pregnant!! 555's!
Old Man Ribber - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Eight nursing babies at one time...that really SUCKS! ;D
blackjack21 - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Don't you just hate it when you're undermammed? 555
Stan Hall - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, folks.
blackjack21-- undermammed is bad, but the image of octomom octomammmed may be worse! :-)
Timmy1000 - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Octomom hasn't been in the news for awhile - thanks for the mammary. Isn't she about due to get pregnant again?
John Barry - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Pretty good, I ween.
Fiddlegirl - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Octomom's story still being milked for all it's worth, I see... ;)
TJC - November 27, 2009 - Report this comment
"...lend me a gland..." Heh, heh! Great pair-o-'dees of late, Stan!

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