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Song Parodies -> "The Tropicana"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Barry Manilow

Parody Song Title:

"The Tropicana"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

You just knew there would be some parodies coming out of Vegas week. Wait till you see the one about the timeshare tour, but still looking for a four hour long OS that involves torture. :-D

This one is a sad tale of Blackjack woe, otherwise known as getting your ass beat. It went pretty well at the tables most of the week, but there’s always one place you just can’t seem to win. This time it was the Tropicana, or as the locals call it, the Trop. It’s one of the older casinos in Vegas, semi-rundown but nice staff and fantastic drink service, always a plus. I won my first session there but after that I lost miserably, three straight times. So obviously, with a player of my caliber, I must have been cheated. ;-)

Note: Wherever the word “blackjack” (all lower case) is used refers to, um, me. :-)
The Tropicana

His name was blackjack
He was a player
And he would study and prepare
For a game that dealt out fair
He would trade in clay*
But do no rah rah
And then he'd try to count the cards
Hoping he would not be barred
And tossed out of the door
Before he made his score
He was bold and he had some money
And he wanted more

At the Trop-i
(Yeah) The Tropicana
(The Tropicana)
It's not so hot but beats Montana
(Here) At the Trop-i
The Tropicana
Gambling's in fashion
For fueling your passion
At the Trop-i…
What's not to love?

His name was Chico
He was a dealer
He was dealing the cards with flair
At the game with blackjack there
And when he dealt them
The players busted**
Then Chico tried a bit too hard
Dealing out the bottom card
And accusations flew
Then blackjack's anger grew
Spilled his Bud® and the dealer was caught
But just who caught who?

At the Trop-i
(Oh) The Tropicana
(The Tropicana)
You’re better off in Susquehanna
(Here) At the Trop-i
The Tropicana
Don't mind a beating
But not when it's cheating
At the Trop-i…
Where is the love?

(Trop-i, the Tropicana
Trop-i, the Tropicana
The Tropicana
Not Win-diana, but Lose-iana
You won’t be cashin’
Face will turn ashen)

His name is blackjack
He lost his money
He got played like a pi-an-o
But it seems so long ago
Now it’s just hist’ry
‘Cause it’s all over
And he’ll no longer gamble there
But he doesn’t really care
Got cheated by design
When Chico crossed the line
He lost his game and he lost his money
Now he’ll drink some wine

No more Trop-i
(No) No Tropicana
(No Tropicana)
The not best spot, it’s just bananas
(Here) At the Trop-i
The Tropicana
You won’t be rationed
An ounce of compassion
At the Trop-i…
There is no love
(The Tropicana)
There is no love

This story was based loosely on true events. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, as well as the guilty. Cheating at Blackjack in Las Vegas is highly unlikely and is embellished here to make the story more entertaining. Kind of like the director of the movie “21” did with the events of the MIT Blackjack Team story.

*clay = chips used for betting, high-quality chips are made of clay

**busted = player’s hand went over a total of 21, automatic loser even if the dealer also busts later

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Andria - August 11, 2009 - Report this comment
As someone who has lost her shirt and then some in Vegas, I can tell you that the Tropicana sucks. You are bound to get "juiced" there, no matter what game you play. I lose more money gambling in casinos in one hour than most people lose in a day, so I tend to steer clear of ALL casinos, as well as video-poker and video-lottery machines. 5s to you, and I'm glad you enjoyed Sin City.
Timmy1000 - August 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Hope you had a good time; over time, they'll always take your money.
TJC - August 11, 2009 - Report this comment
LOL your autobiosmackdownical weekend's Tropi-Copa opus... particularly enjoyed "Not Win-diana, but Lose-iana."
Over-21 Fiddlegirl - August 11, 2009 - Report this comment
As per TJC's above comment, that was my favorite line too!
Mark Scotti - August 11, 2009 - Report this comment
I gambled on reading this......AND CAME UP A WINNER! Three fives hit Jackpot! P.S. Blackjack, here's another scary Obama one that you missed:
Edward O. TThorp - August 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Cheated? As commented elsewhere, only time TT was ever tempted to play against a casino, he watched the dealer draw to a 17 (didn't think ya could do that), and -- wow! -- hit a 4! Miracle! -- not. Never again had the slightest temptation to go against a casino. 5556 (to make the 21)
Old Man Ribber - August 11, 2009 - Report this comment
My idea for a theme casino would be Dante's Inferno...slogan - Paybacks are Hell! Motto over the entrance - Abandon hope all who enter here! ;D A hell of a parody! ;D
AFW - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Very good
blackjack21 - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks for the comments everyone.

Andria: Yep, the Tropicana beat me to a pulp. I never lose my shirt, I quit after I lose my socks. ;-)

Timmy1000: No more overtime, it's hit and run from now on.

TJC & 21+FG: Windiana and Loseiana offer casinos for your gambling pleasure as well. Fiddlegirl, is that your age or your blackjack hand? ;-)

Mark: Thanks for the jackpot! Looks like I went to Vegas during Scary Obama Week. Wait...that's every week. Another scary good one.

Dr. TThorp: Dealers can draw to a SOFT 17, which is HARD on the players. I would think the Father of Card Counting would know that. :-(

OMR: LOL, You'll have to offer some really good comps to get me in there! ;-)

AFW: Most thankful
TThorp - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
It was so long ago, I don't remember the exact cards, but I'm almost certain it was a hard 17, or I wouldn't have been so shocked... followed by catching the four. Coincidence? Sorry, highly improbable.

And why draw to a soft 17, when your hand is likely to become worse, or stay the same at best, unless the dealer too is counting, and knows the deck is rich in low cards -- in which case, an opponent showing a Ten--card is likely to be beaten already. I'm not buyin' it .... and the more I think about it, the more I'm sure it was a hard 17, as I was flabbergasted at the time. Unless Bahamian rules are different?
blackjack21 - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment

TThorp: It is actually to the casino's advantage to draw to soft 17. A 17 will not win many hands for them, unless the player has already busted, they will push at best. Drawing in that situation gives them the shot at pulling the small card to beat you, as you saw.

I don't know of any place where they would draw on a hard 17, the odds of busting on that are way up there. Regardless of which rule they have, it isn't dealer choice on it. They either hit soft 17 or stand on all 17s.

I did catch a too-speedy dealer hit his hard 17 against my 20 in downtown Vegas. He didn't beat me anyway, but I called him out on it and he was pulled from the table. Needless to say, I didn't tip him. :-D
TT - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
So we've seen the same thing, and what I saw wasn't an isolated incident. Now I'm *sure* it was hard 17, and the dealer *knew* the 4 was coming.

Why wasn't your dealer fired, deprived of his license, and probably jailed? ... and the casino bearing some disciplinary action for lax supervision?... I know, the casinos own Clark County -- another reason I prefer to play against others (poker) rather than any house.

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