I come home late at night, have the munchies want to bite
into a nice big hot pastrami sandwich.
And as I look into the fridge it seems there's nothing but a midget piece of
moldy turkey that's in a ditch.
As I threw it on the floor there came a knocking at my door,
and I sudd'nly knew my dinner was here.
There were a million rats and hamsters and I jumped them like a vampire
Hamster sandwiches for more than year!

Taking care of hamsters - Suck their blood.
Taking care of hamsters - Like a stud.
Taking care of hamsters - Eat 'em raw.
Taking care of hamsters - It ain't against the law. Pig out!

Yes I eat them when it's valid for my lunch or in a salad,
and I drink them pureed in a blender.
I love it when they fight, and when I stomp 'em pure delight,
both the masculine and female gender.
I love them chopped or diced but there's nothing else as nice
as a great big hamster fillet
Or if you fry 'em in skillet with a little Crisco in it,
I'll eat those baby hamsters each day.

Taking care of hamsters - On the porch.
Taking care of hamsters - With a torch.
Taking care of hamsters - They're all fried.
Taking care of hamsters - I ate 'em till i died. I'm dead!

(I ate) a rat I should have questioned, and it gave me indigestion.
Pepto-Bismal didn't give me relief.
And when I threw up on the floor, my mother threw me out the door,
and said "You'll stick to ham and chicken, and beef."
So I started eating right, drinking fruit juice every night,
eating vegetables and good things, but then.
I heard the hot dogs that I eat are full of hamster hair and meat,
so I'm back to eating hamsters again!

Taking care of hamsters - In your bed.
Taking care of hamsters - Till I'm fed.
Taking care of hamsters - It really rules.
Taking care of hamsters - You should try em' too!