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Song Parodies -> "I Ain't Been Ham-uh-let"
Original Song Title:
"You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet"
Original Performer:
Bachmann Turner Overdrive
Parody Song Title:
"I Ain't Been Ham-uh-let"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
Just one pacing caveat: you have to sing "Hamlet" with three syllables, by sticking an "uh" in the middle. But I think that adds to the humour, rather than singing "Hamlet yet" or "that Hamlet" or some such.
I met an aging actor
He spoke to me one day
Couldn't get a word in edgeways
Till he had had his say
He said "Ooh, I've played some great parts
But there's one I could not get
No there's one I could not get
The Danish prince escaped me,"
He said
"I ain't been Ham-uh-let
L-l-l-luvvie, no
I ain't been Ham-uh-let
In my career that is my one re-re-gret
No no, no no, no no I ain't been Ham-uh-let"
He said "I've done commercials
And other sell-out stuff
I even did some porno
But my parts weren't big enough"
He said that any part's a great part
But the Bard has the best yet
"And though my Bottom has been highly prized,"
He said
"I ain't been Ham-uh-let
B-b-b-arred from me
No I ain't been Ham-uh-let
And I've been Henry, Third, Fourth and Fifth and yet
No no, no no, no no I ain't been Ham-uh-let
"I ain't been Ham-uh-let
To be or not to be?
Not to be Ham-uh-let
I've done the Scottish play, I've even been Macbet
No no, no no, no no I ain't been Ham-uh-let"
He spoke to me one day
Couldn't get a word in edgeways
Till he had had his say
He said "Ooh, I've played some great parts
But there's one I could not get
No there's one I could not get
The Danish prince escaped me,"
He said
"I ain't been Ham-uh-let
L-l-l-luvvie, no
I ain't been Ham-uh-let
In my career that is my one re-re-gret
No no, no no, no no I ain't been Ham-uh-let"
He said "I've done commercials
And other sell-out stuff
I even did some porno
But my parts weren't big enough"
He said that any part's a great part
But the Bard has the best yet
"And though my Bottom has been highly prized,"
He said
"I ain't been Ham-uh-let
B-b-b-arred from me
No I ain't been Ham-uh-let
And I've been Henry, Third, Fourth and Fifth and yet
No no, no no, no no I ain't been Ham-uh-let
"I ain't been Ham-uh-let
To be or not to be?
Not to be Ham-uh-let
I've done the Scottish play, I've even been Macbet
No no, no no, no no I ain't been Ham-uh-let"
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 3 | 2 | 3 | ||||||||
| 5 | 17 | 17 | 17 |
User Comments
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I'm hoarse, I'm hoarse, been laughing now I'm hoarse. Great stuff.
FABulous job, Phil...=)
wonderfully written...bravo...5s plus
Bravo, Philbo, fivesooth! Next summer, I will perform in a Shakespeare play for the first time --- I'm going to play the part of Pompey in "Measure For Measure", at a local Shakespeare-in-the-park production.
And that should have said not "at a local Shakespeare-in-the-park production", but, rather, "in a local Shakespeare-in-the-park production".
Considering the deliberate stuttering in TOS, an extra syllable for Ham-uh-let is quite appropriate.
Thanks everyone - hope the Shakespeare goes well, JD: don't know Measure for Measure very well, come to think of it, I don't know it at all. Ah, well, I suppose he did do rather a lot...
Nicely done! The second verse is a hoot, especially the 'bottom' line. Fives from the Ravyn...the rest is silence.
Everyone dies at the end... dies laughing, that is.
To five, or not to five, that is the question...wait a minute, what am I thinking? Definitely, it is "to five"!
O thou great writer may I give thee 5's?
Oct sotm - well written, but somewhat short of the bar you've set for yourself. Such is the trouble with brilliance.
(SOTM) dkots, wouldnt call it hilarious, 4s
SOTM...Hamlet is my very favorite piece by the Bard...and this is almost as good as the play...; )
(SOTM) Much ado about this thing! Loved the porno/parts couplet.
(SOTM) I know I read this some time ago and even commented...the s-s-s-s-s-s-ttutering and the no no no no no STILL crack me up. : D 5's
SOTM - What I thought to myself when checking this one out has already been highlighted by Steve K, so I'll just second him, and fifth you, but I will also comment on the fact that you managed to tangent that everyday good locking actors (okey, actresses) dilemma; do porn - or not do porn.
(SOTM) Well written and funny (as usual, sir). Sorry I missed it when it posted, Phil. I haven't been around these parts very much lately. I do hope to change that soon.
No need to apologise, Rick: nobody can keep track of every parody posted on this site...
Peter - you mean something like this:
Do porn, or not do porn: that is the question
Whether 'tis bigger on the screen, to stuff her
The wooden accents of outrageous acting
...hmm.. needs work, methinks
Peter - you mean something like this:
Do porn, or not do porn: that is the question
Whether 'tis bigger on the screen, to stuff her
The wooden accents of outrageous acting
...hmm.. needs work, methinks
SOTM - "parts" weren't big enough, eh? Talk about discrimination! Shame on them...
(SOTM) Excluding the stuttered lines which are probably close to impossible to pace perfectly I couldn't get some of this to work in a karaoke to TOS. The second verse was excellent and if I remembered my Shakespeare better I'd probably find it funnier.
(SOTM) See above, lest equivPhilbocation undo us!
SOTM - I think 'Shakespeare in the Park' is a better idea than 'Shakespeare in the dark'.
(SOTM) very clever, concise, droll and punchy - and some very funny lines, such as "And I've been Henry, Third, Fourth and Fifth and yet" and the McBet line and the Bottom line - 555
(SOTM) Very artistic, Phil.
(SOTM) Shakesperian parodies always get me, Phil...wonderful wordplay and innuendo, and an inspired choice of OS. Cracking stuff. 555
SOTM Loved the porno part...parts weren't big enough made me lol. Great stuff, Phil
The extra syllable worked great for me. For additional enjoyment, I imagined BTO singing this in Shakespearean garb. Pretty frightening, actually. Very funny, clever stuff as always.
You mean "Hamlet" isn't supposed to be pronounced with three syllables? Don't I feel like an idiot. Next you'll say "Macbet" actually ends with an H.
Fun stuff, Philbo. Everyone else has already pointed out a lot of my fave lines, but I call dibs on the "barred" pun. Ha!
Fun stuff, Philbo. Everyone else has already pointed out a lot of my fave lines, but I call dibs on the "barred" pun. Ha!
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