My old computer operated so slow
And then one day it ceased to work anymore
So I bought a new one from the Gateway store
The promo that month was
Called Instant Messages
Communicate at the speed of light
Instant Messages
Buy myself an account with the ISP tonight

Well I used to be the kind who lives in the past
But technology was so slow and has changed so fast
The first spam message I got was not the last
Well it's just now and then my address gets spammed with
Instant Messages
Truth in advertising disappeared over night
Oh Instant Messages
That and the perverts in my e-mail tonight

See the pop-ups and all of the spam
Put my computer in the trash can
But then I went to the hacker's convention
And there I learned that two can play at this game

Well the picture is changing
I'll get my revenge
They're sending me pop-ups without any end
So I get on my computer
And with a few clicks of the mouse
Their whole system spams them about shampoo for a louse
I give out my address
But I don't get any more
Instant Messages
The spammers disappeared overnight
Instant Messages
Communication at the speed of light