Out on my boat, cruising down the river
Trying to catch me some trout
They laughed at me, they begged for my money
They called me indevout
They were huddled up close, squatting and staring
Like a bloated blue whale
I said maybe you nuns should be nicer
They told me I'm going to hell

Nuns on the Thames
Nuns on the Thames
Ain't it strange
To see nuns on the Thames?

Back on the dock, feeling kind of funny
The scent of nuns in the air
My throat was dry, my nose was runny
I challenged them to a dare
I said, Fatty, you nuns are all batty
Can't you leave me alone?
Then Fatty really scared me a lot and said
We have bazookas at home!

Nuns on the Thames
Nuns on the Thames
It's a dangerous thing
To see nuns on the Thames

Hey you! Fatty! Shoot!

Nuns on the Thames
Nuns on the Thames
They'll ruin your day
Those damn nuns on the Thames

Don't want to be in pain
Don't want to see nuns on the Thames