Well, some are gold with a taper,
And some are wide.
While some so old that they grow fur,
Down on the under side.

And you can find some that are starry,
Look down below, hope you're not bare.
They just wrap around your behind there,
Underwear!

You can buy them from a Sears sales book,
But not at Lacks where they'll sell you a fine chair.
They cover up your tool, they can be dark or light,
They're underwear!

Some are thin and some thicker,
And some see through.
Put them on and don't bicker,
If they're not new.

Some got names on them like Laurie,
If they get lost in some guy's lair.
If she's ever trying to find her,
Underwear!

So, why should we care about the way they look,
How well they're backed or the color of the pair,
We don't talk out of school, we wear them out of sight,
Our underware!

[Instrumental Interlude]


And you can find some that are starry,
Look down below, hope you're not bare.
They just wrap around your behind there,
Underwear!

You can buy them from a Sears sales book,
But not at Lacks where they'll sell you a fine chair.
They cover up your tool, they can be dark or light,
They're underwear!