One ton tomato,
My gal's a one ton tomato.
Just watch my legs bow,
She is a one ton tomato.

My "little woman" is quite large,
That's why she is the one in charge.
She wears the pants all of the time
'Cause she cannot squeeze into mine.
She is the woman of my dream
But she can make our poor scale scream.

One ton tomato,
A giant sack of potato!
I swear that it's so,
She is a one ton tomato.

My love and life we always share
'Though she has broken every chair.
But off to judgment I'll not rush
Because on me she has a "crush".
For on the beach she is such fun,
Her shade protects me from the sun.

One ton tomato,
A tankcar load of Clamato.
Lucky I am though,
She is a one ton tomato.

(Spoken over instrumental chorus)
I am a sincere man from the land of tobacco and coal.
I wish I could share her with you - there is enough for all of us.
I love it when we just sit around because when she sits around the house -
WAIT! There are lines to which even I won't stoop!

(Singing)
One ton tomato,
You ought to see her gyrate, oh!
My hernias grow,
I love my one ton tomato!