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Song Parodies -> "Tribute to the Sheets of San Francisco"

Original Song Title:

"I Left My Heart in San Francisco"

Original Performer:

Tony Bennett

Parody Song Title:

"Tribute to the Sheets of San Francisco"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

San Fransisco, like several other progressive great cities of the world is falling victim to pathological empathy, allowing hordes of street people and junkies to swarm the business districts and leave piles of litter and needles and feces. There are even online maps that show where the greatest concentrations of human feces are
The dung heap that was Haiti
It made my nostrils quail
The odors found in Qom
Are on another scale
I've been terribly unwell
Tubercular in Qandahar
I'm going home to .. the privy by the Bay

I .. left .. my-y-y ... sh@rt (do be da doo, do be da doo)
In-n-n-n San Fransisco (do be da doo, da doo)
Atop a pile ........ of tramp feces
To be where massive squalid stink
Drives me halfway to the brink
The morning logs .. befoul the air
They dont care

A stench wafts there (do be da doo, da doo)
In-n-n San Fransisco (do be da doo, da doo)
Above the stooled and putrid STREETS
When I come home to you, San Fransisco
A squatting bum .. WILL .. make me ... flee

(This one is in the tribute to the fecal map entitled "Human Wasteland", done to The Who's Baba O'Riley)

Up here on Nob Hill
I pinch when I feel
I put my crap into a waste bin
I dont give a shite
If I fuel this blight
Let me squeeze without misgivings

Dont retch
Dont whine or kvetch
It's only human wasteland

Hobo, pinch that stool
Contamination fueled
Squat down in public
And dont look past your shoulder
A Hep-C plague is feared
The crapping ones are near
Let's dump together
And make San Fran sh*t holer

Human wasteland
It's just a fecal wasteland
San Fran wasteland
It's just a New Age Wasteland

It's all distasteful!!

(Finally, for the sake of a trilogy, a parody of "If You're Going To San Francisco", one of the hippie-dippy-est songs of the late Sixties)

If you're going in San Francisco
Be sure to wear some Charmin' in your hair
If you're going in San Francisco
You're gonna see some venous needles there

For those who crap in San Francisco
Summertime will be a dump-in there
In the streets of san Francisco
Scent of feces are found everywhere

All across BART stations
There's contamination
Bowels are in motion
There's a new excretation
Done without reprobation
Bowels are in motion
Bowels are in motion

For those who go in San Fransisco
Be sure to wear some White Cloud in your hair
If you go in San Francisco
Summertime time will be a-dumpin' there

If you're going in San Francisco
Dumper time will be a bummer there

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Propamaler - March 13, 2019 - Report this comment
I think you meant STREETS rather than SHEETS, although the sheets of (the hotels in) San Francisco are also probably riddled with bed bugs at this point, due to the "progressive" ban on DDT...
Patrick - March 13, 2019 - Report this comment
I guess you aren't playing the numbers game. You could have made three perfectly valid entries. All excellent, and all songs I actually know. No desire to go to SF. Or NYC. I've been to Chicago, but won't go back. It was different 40 years ago. Kansas City isn't that bad, yet.

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