The dung heap that was Haiti
It made my nostrils quail
The odors found in Qom
Are on another scale
I've been terribly unwell
Tubercular in Qandahar
I'm going home to .. the privy by the Bay

I .. left .. my-y-y ... sh@rt (do be da doo, do be da doo)
In-n-n-n San Fransisco (do be da doo, da doo)
Atop a pile ........ of tramp feces
To be where massive squalid stink
Drives me halfway to the brink
The morning logs .. befoul the air
They dont care

A stench wafts there (do be da doo, da doo)
In-n-n San Fransisco (do be da doo, da doo)
Above the stooled and putrid STREETS
When I come home to you, San Fransisco
A squatting bum .. WILL .. make me ... flee

(This one is in the tribute to the fecal map entitled "Human Wasteland", done to The Who's Baba O'Riley)

Up here on Nob Hill
I pinch when I feel
I put my crap into a waste bin
I dont give a shite
If I fuel this blight
Let me squeeze without misgivings

Dont retch
Dont whine or kvetch
It's only human wasteland

Hobo, pinch that stool
Contamination fueled
Squat down in public
And dont look past your shoulder
A Hep-C plague is feared
The crapping ones are near
Let's dump together
And make San Fran sh*t holer

Human wasteland
It's just a fecal wasteland
San Fran wasteland
It's just a New Age Wasteland

It's all distasteful!!

(Finally, for the sake of a trilogy, a parody of "If You're Going To San Francisco", one of the hippie-dippy-est songs of the late Sixties)

If you're going in San Francisco
Be sure to wear some Charmin' in your hair
If you're going in San Francisco
You're gonna see some venous needles there

For those who crap in San Francisco
Summertime will be a dump-in there
In the streets of san Francisco
Scent of feces are found everywhere

All across BART stations
There's contamination
Bowels are in motion
There's a new excretation
Done without reprobation
Bowels are in motion
Bowels are in motion

For those who go in San Fransisco
Be sure to wear some White Cloud in your hair
If you go in San Francisco
Summertime time will be a-dumpin' there

If you're going in San Francisco
Dumper time will be a bummer there