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Song Parodies -> "Today's Toupées"

Original Song Title:

"Hooray For Hazel"

Original Performer:

Tommy Roe

Parody Song Title:

"Today's Toupées"

Parody Written by:

Stan Hall

The Lyrics

Roe on Rogaine?
“Today’s Toupées” – Tommy Roe ‘60s

You say toupées all look like “the s-noun,”
You say toupées all slip off your crown.
Today’s toupées’s not only look slick,
Today’s toupées are promised to stick.

Sprays’ll* seem to cover many a spot
But they’re sure to run when you get sweaty and hot
Today’s toupées’ll never do that
You always keep your cool, no need for a hat.


Rays’ll** for a while do the job and deceive
But it takes time and money to maintain a hair weave.
Today’s toupees you can don and forget
Just like a fella’s yarmulke or lady’s hairnet.


Days’ll pass before sprouts grow with Rogaine,
And implants only guarantee you plenty of pain
Today’s toupees breed no such complaints --
They beat an operation, drugs, a weave or those paints!

Today’s toupées’ll make smiles from your frown
Today’s toupées’ll not once let you down
Today’s toupées’ll keep you lookin’ swell
Today’s toupées’ll look lifelike as hell
Today’s toupées’s not only look slick,
Today’s toupées are promised to stick.
© Stan Hall * Remember those spray-on hair products advertised on TV infomercials? Unlce Google says the stuff's still to be had online. ** A reference rooted in local lore: No one who's ever heard Mr. Ray’s ("The Cheapest Guy In Town") hair weave radio spots is likely to forget the definitive Charm City twang of their delivery.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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John Barry - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Your pate gets pasty , but it holds down, the wave that takes its place on your crown. Nice job on one of the lamest OS's of all time.
Invisible Boy - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Nice job on a hair-raising topic. The word "yarmulke" is funny to see and it gave me an idea for tomorrow.
Invisible Boy - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
P.S. Stan, my parody involves you wearing a yarmulke...are you OK with that ?
Stan - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Have at it, IB. I'm neither racially nor religiously Jewish -- am entirely unreligious and racially indifferent, AAAMOF -- and, as all my own creations are all in fun, I consider everything and everyone, myself included, fair game. That said, I'd hate to imagine folks taking at face value the 1st-person narratives thay many of my parodies are. :-)
alvin - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
you've covered the subject OS to parody, too....never heard the hair weave commercials but i've seen the spray on commericials on TV and i couldn't believe what i was seeing
Peregrin - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
I liked it, and I too, have seen the hair 'spray'. Shudder.
Meriadoc - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Nice one! I love Tommy Roe songs - he's one of the best of the Bubble Gum style pop artists of the 60s.

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