Woe is me
I'm sorry as can be.
Oh don't ya don't ya don't ya do like me.
Woe is me
I'm deep in doo for sure.
I think I think I think you would concur

Got in a hoochie's pants the o-other night
I didn't wear a condom
Guess that wasn't too bright.
A couple weeks later
It alarms me to see
My doodle's dripping discharge
And it burns when I pee.

Woe is me
Looks like an STD
Has got has got has got has gotten me-e-e.
Woe is me
I got the clap for sure
I hope I hope I hope I can be cu-u-ured.

Went to my physician
Who made me drop my pants
He made his diagnosis
After only one glance
He said " looks like go-no-rrhea to me".
"Gonna have to treat it"
"An-ti-bi-otic'ly"

Woe is me
Seems ce-lib-a-cy
Is what is what is what's in store for me-e-e-e.
Woe is me
When I confess to her
My wife a knife to me will take for su-u-u-ure.

When I broke the news to her
We had quite a brawl
Begging her forgiveness
To her on my knees crawled
She went to see her lawyer
The very next day
To figure out just how much
Al-i-mony I'll pay.

Woe is me
I'll get scewed properly
She'll get awarded all our property-y-y
Woe is me
It looks like poverty
Is the state in which you will find me-e-e.