Tom Turtle was a parodist who pounced straight for the jugular;
He satirized a Pres whose speech was smug yet sometimes struggular;
Disdain for George the Son, less blame for James from Plains in evidence,
Tom pegged the mis-spoke ‘NUCULAR’ the catchword of the Presidents.

I toiled for several decades in the Section known as ‘Nuclear’;
Though now fairly famili-ar, I still find it peculi-ar
That highly educated voices, palatal and uvular
Would schedule tests, requests infested with the mis-spoke ‘NUCULAR’.

There’s fibular, follicular, and pustular and jocular
Vestibular and valvular, auricular and ocular
And tabular and tubular and muscular and modular
And regular and singular and circular and nodular.

There’s popular and insular and secular, oracular
Cuticular, vehicular, vesicular, vernacular
And vascular, crepuscular and titular, testicular
Peninsular, peduncular, avuncular, particular.

Triangular, corpuscular, spectacular and annular,
Articular, radicular and angular and granular,
And glandular and saccular and spicular and globular
Molecular, trabecular, lenticular and lobular.

And endless adjectival terms in Med’cine and Biology
With current usage driven by their Latin deriv-ology,
Like oscular, ossicular and ovular, fascicular
Reticular, glomerular, furuncular, funicular.

So, clearly there’s no stimulus for apparatus cochlear,
That simulates the sound unique of proper-spoken ‘Nuclear’.


TT’s parodies of GWB’s diction are found at:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/westsidestorybernsteinsondheim0.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/shirleybassey2.shtml