I saw the pie on the plate as I passed by the kitchen
(dah dah dah dah dah dah)
I smelt the aroma of pork as it wafted by
(dah dah dah dah dah)
Pies are my passion
I just turned back for the plate and that porky pie


My my my porky pie
Pork pork pork porky pie

I could see
This diet was no good for me
But I was an addict
And I just couldn't break free

Later that day once the cook went away I was waiting
(dah dah dah dah dah dah)
I crossed the hall to the larder and I opened the door
(dah dah dah dah dah)
I stood there naked
I felt the knife in my hand
And pork pie was no more


My my my porky pie
Pork pork pork porky pie

So before she comes back to bake 20 more
Forgive me Weightwatchers I just couldn't take it no more

I stood there scoffing (scoff scoff scoff scoff)
I felt the knife in my hand and I broke off some more!