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Song Parodies -> "Gin Hall Lizard"
Original Song Title:
"Pinball Wizard"
(MP3)Original Performer:
The Who
Parody Song Title:
"Gin Hall Lizard"
Parody Written by:
Dee Range
The Lyrics
Having managed many bars in my life, I've drawn a composite of many of the customers to create this guy
Ever since I've been a drunkard
I've suffered many falls
The ho's whose lives I've brightened
I must of layed them all
And I've done my share of barfin'
In many a toilet stall
I'm stiff, numb, and blind drunk
Still hope to make last call
I munch on some cashews
As I feed the cig machine
Feel some strumpet's rumper
Love those skin tight jeans
She slaps me through partitions
A midget breaks my fall
I'm stiff, numb, and blind drunk
Still hope to make last call
I'm a gin-hall lizard
They say I'm always pissed
A high-ball guzz-ler
I've got drinks in both my fists
Why do I drink a dozen?
(You don't know?)
'Cos they taste so good!
Ain't takin' no damn taxi
Though vision's fuzzy as hell
Cop car lights start flashin'
Tracked me by the smell
(COPS) Asked "Have you been drinking?"
(DRUNK) Claim "I can't recall"
(COPS) "You're stiff, numb and blind drunk
Looks like you made last call"
I fought the fuzz
They threw me in the clink
I sit here stranded
This vomit sure does stink
Sittin' in my usual drunk tank
Won'drin who's to blame
The other winos in here
They all know me by name
I've got DT heebee jeebees
Roaches ten feet tall
I'm still numb and blind drunk
Sure wish I'd missed last call
I've suffered many falls
The ho's whose lives I've brightened
I must of layed them all
And I've done my share of barfin'
In many a toilet stall
I'm stiff, numb, and blind drunk
Still hope to make last call
I munch on some cashews
As I feed the cig machine
Feel some strumpet's rumper
Love those skin tight jeans
She slaps me through partitions
A midget breaks my fall
I'm stiff, numb, and blind drunk
Still hope to make last call
I'm a gin-hall lizard
They say I'm always pissed
A high-ball guzz-ler
I've got drinks in both my fists
Why do I drink a dozen?
(You don't know?)
'Cos they taste so good!
Ain't takin' no damn taxi
Though vision's fuzzy as hell
Cop car lights start flashin'
Tracked me by the smell
(COPS) Asked "Have you been drinking?"
(DRUNK) Claim "I can't recall"
(COPS) "You're stiff, numb and blind drunk
Looks like you made last call"
I fought the fuzz
They threw me in the clink
I sit here stranded
This vomit sure does stink
Sittin' in my usual drunk tank
Won'drin who's to blame
The other winos in here
They all know me by name
I've got DT heebee jeebees
Roaches ten feet tall
I'm still numb and blind drunk
Sure wish I'd missed last call
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 32 | 33 | 33 |
User Comments
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"strumpet's rumper"...LOL! Keep 'em comin', barkeep! 555
Pure Dee-Ranged magic! 5s
Kristof and Rick C., thanks so much. It's always a thrill when such brilliant writers as you two enyoy my stuff.
Brilliant and hilarious! "strumpet's rumper" is my favorite line, too!
Awesome use of words, Dee - "Stiff, numb and blind drunk". Simply wonderful.
Intoxicating....sounds like my favorite bar...Terrific wording..
Well done, congrats. 5s
the title alone was brilliant...the rest is nothing short of a masterpiece ....5s plus
So, Dee, I asked, in the comments section of my parody today, if you had any plans to record "Sixteen Sons". That is one of my favorite parodies (if not THE favorite) of all of the ones I've read on this site. I think it would be a riot recorded! Well, do ya huh, do ya??
Dee - you've managed bars - I own bars - what a coincidence! - any grog parody hits a target with me, and this was paced to perfection (DT heebee geebees was a great get!) - LOL - 555
I'm with Stu on this one...and even better when it's well done. 5s
Hilarious and pefectly paced. Now try to say strumpet's rumper 20 times in a row while drunk... (or even sober for that matter...) ;-D
Thanks SO SO much to Johnny D., Phil, AFW, John Barry, alvin, and Jeff for all the nice comments and votes; very much appreciated as always.
Rick C., I answered your question about Sixteen Sons in the comments to your parody today.
Meriadoc, It took me 20 times trying to TYPE strumpet's rumper before I got it right...I still can't SAY it with a straight face :-)
Rick C., I answered your question about Sixteen Sons in the comments to your parody today.
Meriadoc, It took me 20 times trying to TYPE strumpet's rumper before I got it right...I still can't SAY it with a straight face :-)
Really enjoyed this one Dee
Stu, thanks, and I should have guessed you were in the business, with your wacky sense of humor. Cheers, mate
Thanks for the laugh!
Peregrin, glad you enjoyed it
Left of centre, good to see new faces enjoying this sight. Come back, there are some really talented writers to make your day a little brighter here.
Left of centre, good to see new faces enjoying this sight. Come back, there are some really talented writers to make your day a little brighter here.
Oooooooooookay then.
I smell a hit... or maybe it's all the booze on your breath, 555 proof...
A toast to you, Dee Range!
Kat, Michael, and PMS, thank you
555!:) That was such a good parody! I would never have read it if I didn't love the original song so much, and I wouldn't like the original song so much if pinball wasn't such an awesome game!! LOL, 555! THAT WAS SO AWESOME. It rocked! (PS, for Kat- is "okay then" a good or bad comment, cause you said it for my parody of Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2, just wondering...) Someday i'll make a parody of Pinball Wizard, when I think of something.......
(SOTM)Taking the pacing of the original into account, I'll say that this part that builds up to a mini-crescendo is my favorite:
I fought the fuzz
They threw me in the clink
I sit here stranded
This vomit sure does stink
Maybe I've had one too many myself though, it doesn't come to me what the abbreviation DT means right now.
I fought the fuzz
They threw me in the clink
I sit here stranded
This vomit sure does stink
Maybe I've had one too many myself though, it doesn't come to me what the abbreviation DT means right now.
Peter, DT stands for delerium tremors, which is a condition one finds oneself in while undergoing 'cold turkey' alcohol withdrawal....which in my case, is every twenty minutes without a beer. When you see an alcoholic with 'the shakes', he is probably suffering from DT. I believe it can also refer to drug withdrawal other than alcohol, such as heroin withdrawal, although I'm not sure.
That's a logical abbreviation. I don't think I've ever heard it before though and I'm a medical transcriptionist so I should have if it was in use here in Sweden, it's mostly just called alcohol-abstinence here, though some of the more "strict" doctors use either delerium or tremor or both depending on the circumstances. Thanx for the explanation, I'll keep it in mind for further AmIright use. :-)
[SOTM] That is just masterful.
[SOTM] An extremely well written parody, bursting with humour and creativity... shame I don't have the original song to compare it with, sorry : (
(SOTM) Must have forgot to comment on this before Dee. I do have this song on my 2 disc The Who Then and Now, and it's effortless to sing over it. Great work.
SOTM--Dee...you're beginning to be one of those bastards whose talent I totally resent...; ) Nice job.
(SOTM) Very nice! Reminds me of that time I watched "Tommy" while drunk...wait, no...I wasn't drunk, the film was really just that weird.
(SOTM) I'll keep walkin on the straight line with this one, thanks...:)
(SOTM) After being in the drunk tank about a month ago, I have a connection with this one, nice job
nice. i like the midget line and how the cops answered the 'i hope i make last call' concern from the first few verses. way to come full circle. im getting buzzed just reading the song.
(SOTM) I never knew they played cards in such seedy places. Well done!
(SOTM) Dee, this is one of your best and that IS saying a lot for it! Even better reading it the second time around.
(sotm) already commented but lovely stuff Dee! - strumpet's rumper - LOL! - tracked by sense of smell - LOL! - all up hilarious
Peter: "DT" stands for "Deseret Towers," a set of dormitories at Brigham Young University, where...um...oh...I see that Dee already explained. Never mind.
This is grrrreat, Dee Ssolute. So many great lines - from the title all the way through. I can't even begin to start naming my faves. I gotta tell ya, though, your intro comment sounds like nothing more than a cover for what probably is a purely autobiographical piece. Amiright?
This is grrrreat, Dee Ssolute. So many great lines - from the title all the way through. I can't even begin to start naming my faves. I gotta tell ya, though, your intro comment sounds like nothing more than a cover for what probably is a purely autobiographical piece. Amiright?
(SOTM) See above!
(SOTM) Very visual. 5's
This is making it so hard to narrow down to five... and I'm only half-way through. Still love the "stiff, numb and blind drunk" line, though.
Good use of pacing and the subject matter, and I especially liked the narrative closing stanza where all the other 'lizards' know ya by name.
(SOTM) I loved this so much, I came back for a refill!
SOTM.. Ah, yes. I can relate. Not myself.. although some events might have been fuzzy. Good job, Dee. 555
Leisure Suit Larry would be proud of this one. Nice stuff.
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