Just look at me and you, we do
Not have much luck with women now, did not learn how
‘Cause every time they’ve told us no, and I say wow
We’ve failed that endeavor

Why don’t I just show up and bring some porn
And we could turn the TV on, and pop some ‘corn
Break out the tissues and the lotion, grow a horn
Get fappy together

I can’t see me jerkin’ with no one but you, for all my life
That’s the next best thing because me and you have got no wife

We’re not gay, I gotta say
Although I love the time we spend, it’s not that way
We’re just two poor fru-“straight”-ed dudes, who spend the day
So fappy together

I can’t see me jerkin’ with no one but you, for all my life
That’s the next best thing, there’s no one to screw, no date or wife

Those hot chicks on the TV
You know they’d never ever sleep with you or me
But we don’t care because we watch them hornily
So fappy together

Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba, ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba, ba

Naked girls on the TV
They have gone wild, but they won’t sleep with you or me
But we don’t care because we watch them lustily
So fappy together
So fappy together
Looks like messy weather
So fappy together