Oh Pizza Wars, Oh Pizza Wars
Let me count the calories
Oh Pizza Wars, Oh Pizza Wars
Which one of you tastes good to me

At the turn of frozen food history
Comes a tale of two pizzas that are common to see
One is Digiorno made by the Kraft family
The other is Red Baron, a Schwan company
Every time when I go to the grocery store
Their buying up more space than ever before
They look so good but when it comes to who’s first
It all depends upon the Sunday inserts

CHORUS
Ten, Twenty, Thirty, Forty , Pizza coupons
Which one I will buy will all depend on
Which one’s on sale and the best buy for me
Since my taste doesn’t matter in this economy

As they battle and banter about what is healthy to me
With all the fresh ingredients for the eye to see
Though their packages are made to stand up and holler
I have to buy the one that is good for my dollar

CHORUS

When the battle is waged, the consumer soon wins
As the lower their prices again and again
No matter how much the reductions do go
I always wait for them to be on BOGO

So I offer a solution to your marketing plans
It will save you lots of money, if you understand
Cut back on the box and the media mail
And have your frozen pizzas always on sale

CHORUS and fade

Pizza Wars these Pizza Wars
Their everywhere without fail
Profits would soar if you cut back on the ads
And keep the pizzas always on sale