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Song Parodies -> "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Original Song Title:

"Shades of Gray"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Monkees

Parody Song Title:

"Fifty Shades of Grey"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

There is a long tradition on the right of condemning movies, books and other works of art which the critic has never read, seen, or understood. I consider myself part of that tradition. Thanks to Melanie Lee for describing the plot of this publishing and box office sensation so I won't have to bother seeing it. I enjoy football, war movies and westerns, and WWE wrestling. I would never confuse the appeal of such things with the desire for love or romance. Apparently some folks do.
Long ago the birds and bees explained to me
Sex and violence should be savored separately
It was easy then to tell fight from fling
A bedroom from a boxing ring
Touching meant a soft caress
Not a lash's sting

But today the world has gone astray
We see things in a different way
No matter if you're straight or gay
Fifty Shades of Grey

In those days a tender word was quite enough
We had never heard of chains or kinky stuff
It was sleazy then to show too much skin
Bondage, collars, discipline
It was wrong to get too rough
Maybe even sin

But today old standards fade away
There's nothing you can't do or say
Our darkest secrets on display
Fifty Shades of Grey

It's celebrated now to seek release
Aberrations never cease
Handcuffs are a boudoir toy
Not just for police

To see, spectators flock to pay
What shouldn't see the light of day
Perversion on a silver tray
Fifty Shades of Grey
I was working on this before I saw Melanie's entry. It's nice to see that someone else remembers this classic and under-appreciated Monkee's song.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.6
How Funny: 2.5
Overall Rating: 2.5

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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 4   1
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Dr. Kraaft Ebbing, dec - February 23, 2015 - Report this comment
You have been misinformed by right-wing romanticists. There is an overlap in the neurons which govern aggression and sex. They are located in the hypothalmus . At least that's true in mice. http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2011/02/09/shedding-light-on-sex-and-violence-in-the-brain/

I'm glad to see that you have hastened to assure us that you enjoy manly aggression, for its own sake, in the form of football, wrestling, war movies and westerns. You had me worried for awhile.
Drapetomania - February 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Don't listen to that left-wing "Doctor" quack or his pseudo-scientific nonsense. In reality, though, "racy" pulps as far back as the 1930s and 1940s, since they weren't allowed to do much more than give euphemistic descriptions of partial nudity, featured lots of whips and chains and screaming ladies strapped to operating tables in mad doctors' labs as a substitution for sex. The real problem with BDSM, as I've always seen it, is how it's all another part of the "Let's see how many MORE ways we can make people into nothing but masturbation aids!" movement. Just like those crappy pulps, it's all substituted kink and almost no actual romantic sex.
Patrick - February 23, 2015 - Report this comment
I worry a lot of people, myself included.
Patrick - February 23, 2015 - Report this comment
I grew up in the era when physical expression of love was banned from most TV, while mass slaughter was considered perfectly OK, even for children to view. Local TV movie channels are still pixillating exposed nipples and buttocks, but graphic visuals of gunshot wounds and extreme trauma are becoming more frequent. It's just a characteristically American form of hypocrisy. An 18 year old can buy an assault rifle, but not a six-pack of beer. I remember when he or she could buy both. Every society has its own peculiar fears. For puritan America, it has always been sex, the act by which even the most prudish among us got here. Violence, though, is celebrated. That's how the ruling class survives and maintains its power.
Melanie Lee - February 23, 2015 - Report this comment
Hilarious! You make excellent points in both your parody and your comments. Nice to see someone else remember the Monkees' song, too. A couple of your lines were off-pace, but no matter. 5-5-5 lashes with a wet noodle! (Or if you prefer, 5-5-5 tender kisses and caresses.)

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