Dictator, you're my new best friend.
I know on your word I can depend.
You to the U.S. I'll commend.
Dictator, let's both play pretend.

Dictator, you are one "great guy",
'Though with U.N. rules you don't comply.
I hope that you won't jail me as a spy.
Dictator, I know you won't lie.

Dictator, "don't want to do war",
(We're dubious, yes we're dubious)
That's a thing we've heard you say before.
(Lugubrious, words lugubrious)
Although death to the U.S. your folks swore.
(Vesuvius, think Vesuvius!)
Dictator, I'll be back for more.
(I'll do, yes I'll do, yes I'll do)

Dictator, all of your ruthless brutal tricks,
(Injurious, so injurious)
I'll just put them down as normal politics.
(Too furious, way too furious)
We'll get season tickets for the New York Knicks.
(So curious, oh so curious)
Dictator, your rep I will fix.
(For you, just for you, just for you)

Dictator, I'm now your greatest fan.
So test your nukes and help to arm Iran.
I'll get the Prez to assist you in your plan.
Dictator, I'm sayin' you're the man!

Dictator, I'll help you if I can.
Dictator, let's both go nuke Japan!