Song Parodies -> "California's Reamin'"

Original Song Title:

"California Dreamin'"

Original Performer:

"California's Reamin'"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

In America, there are plenty of despicable hellholes where no one with a pair of functioning brain cells to rub together would ever want to live, such as Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Illinois (just to name a few). The region for which my heart will most likely always hold a special loathing, however, is the West Coast; and out of all three of those infernal dystopian states, California, a place which has all the worst aspects of the societies portrayed in the Mad Max movies, the Hunger Games stories, and the Handmaiden's Tale wrapped up in one fanatically ideological cesspit that rivals any number of banana republics for its government's sheer corruption, incompetence, and oppression toward all unfortunates too poor and/or too stupid to leave.

All the streets are brown (All the streets are brown)
With bums' fecal spray. (With bums' fecal spray.)
Can't go for a walk; (Can't go for a walk;)
I'd be stabbed today. (With a rusty blade.)
I'd be better off (As in, I'd be safe)
Were I not in L.A. (Or this terrible state.)
California's reamin' (California's reamin')
Drove decent folks away.

Can't go pray in church:
That's illegal these days.
This state's run by fascist freaks, (Child-raping commies,)
Who hate my pale white face. (Racist bigots, these.)
With rolling blackouts and "woke" scolds; (And tranny pedos;)
This whole state's a disgrace! (As are all blue states...)
California's reamin' (California's reamin')
Drove commerce from this place...

[Mournful Wind Instrument Interlude]

Glass strewn on the ground; (broken car windows;)
Needles strew the way. (Crack and heroin.)
Can't go for a walk; (I'd be raped and shanked;)
I'd be slain today. (This city's ablaze.)
Gotta leave this hellhole; (It's like Venezuela;)
Gotta flee L.A. (This flaming cesspit.)
California's reamin' (California's reamin')
Made this a hellish place...
California's reamin':
Its eternal disgrace...
California's reamin'
Just drove out its tax base!

If you disagree with my assessment... well, feel free to move yourself to California to receive all the "benefits" you doubtless believe you'll find there. I'm sure all the homeowners and businesses fleeing from there in droves would appreciate having SOMEONE like you to purchase from them the overpriced McMansions and corporate headquarters buildings they're having to abandon to make their escape, even if it's at a steep discount.

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