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Song Parodies -> "A Well Erected Man"

Original Song Title:

"A Well Respected Man"

Original Performer:

The Kinks

Parody Song Title:

"A Well Erected Man"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

Never pricks up in the morning
Yes, it doesn’t work at times
Never sports a bone with mags, dirty
To the male brain, it’s a crime
Guess the word is un-sound functionality
It ever fails
And he shows no wood
As his ‘drone’ won’t climb
And he's oh, so floppy
‘Cause his body shuns his mind
He's an un-erected man without bone
Rueing: his best friend won’t grow firm and jizz-ly

And his potters with Yohimbe
But it never swells the head
And he stirs up things with rhino horn
(Guy got ripped off when he paid)
And his flaccid stance it daily builds
His testy wife’s glum mein
'Cause he shows no lead
And it shows no spine
And it grows so limpid
Little buddy is benign
He's an un-erected man – is struck down
Spewing that his thing’s gone all softy-servy

Now to doc he says "no hard"
With a scrip he does invest
Then his chemist does the rest
And he soon: blue pills, ingest
And he knows the treatment’s bearing fruit
As peter rises soon
Sure, he knows it’s good
For he's re-aligned
‘Cause his dose it’s helping
As his body toes the line
He's a well erected man about town
Screwing with zest, be soon, Viagra-ally

Fears allayed, it answered prayers
Once it froze, but problem’s shattered
So, beware, the girl next door
'Cause he's plying baby batter
Now his lovers know the best at how
His tallywhacker’s re-maked
They say “Oh, that’s good”
For it’s so inclined
As his doughnut holder
Now embodies perfect line
He's a well erected man without doubt
True, it’s impressing, per-pen-dic-u-lar-ly

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
 5
 5
 

User Comments

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Onan - October 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Out-standing job on this. Very EDucational, too. I gave you 5's, but somehow that didn't seem like enough, all things considered.
Peter Andersson - October 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Well, talk about hard luck in these hard times that I happened to get up late and picked this day to pop in on this take on the kinks. 555.
Lifeliver - October 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Wow. Lots of super euphemisms for the dormant/dysfuntional state of the male organ, the functional condition too, and no cliches! Well done. So many great lines, it's hard to single ones out. I love the ending sub 'perpendicularly'. 'His drone won't climb' is a new one on me.

I had to look up 'yohimbe' (cough, never needed to, to coin a Turtlism). For 'mein' read 'mien', though I suppose she could say 'It's mein'. I'm wondering if you meant 'donut-holer'?

Virile 555s for your viagralogical virtuosity. Today I'm on sheep and you're on erections. Just what is the site coming to?
Meriadoc - October 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone!

Onan: I knew you would get into this one... ;)

Peter: As long as you picked the day and didn't prick the day...

LL: Mein - aaaarrrrrgggghhhh! I double checked that word and I know I had it spelled correctly; not sure what happened :( Thanks for pointing out your favorite parts - that is always helpful and also rewarding to know that someone appreciates the effort. :)
Tommy Turtle - October 12, 2012 - Report this comment
The overall re-mastering (so to speak) of a rather complexly-structured, if somewhat pretentious, OS makes it, uh, "hard" to pick faves, but "‘Cause his body shuns his mind" was a superb encapsulation of the horror of the eyes and id wanting, but finding that "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak".
  (Matthew 26:40. Do you think that's what he was referring to? ;) If you have an erection lasting more than 5.55 hours, go see a doctor, if you can get past the lines of eager ladies outside your door.

@ Lifeliver: "Doughnut-holder" works perfectly -- compare to "hat-rack" -- as an image of a "rod" on which doughnuts could be stacked. Your way works too, as a baker using it to punch the holes in the dough, but I take the text as being intended -- and also a fave line.
  Er, and what exactly is a Turtlism? (almost afraid to hear the answer)

@ Peregrin: Merry hath greatly enjoyed TT's spin on this perennial problem of the dangling part-iciple, noted for working in "detumescence" and "corpus cavernosum"; why should Pip not be similarly aroused? (in laughter, of course!)
  http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/gordonlightfoot78.shtml
Lifeliver - October 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks for graphic clarification re. doughnuts. An example of a Turtlism is 'cough cough' when about to say something immodest or embarrassing, in this case immodest.
Peregrin - October 13, 2012 - Report this comment
The REAL question is how many doughnuts can it hold? Of course this is a rhetorical question ;) But...

(555)
Tommy Turtle - October 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin: The answer is easy. Now you know where the expression "a baker's dozen" came from-- (cough) (cough) -- no, no, modesty prohibits claiming such. ;-D

Lifeliver: In all true modesty, TT cannot claim origination for that colloquialism. Many others have used it before. OTOH, about that baker's dozen of doughnuts on the stack .... xD
Andy Primus - October 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Great band & great parody. LOL at jizz-ly among many others. I had to look up Yohimbe as well as I'd never heard of it either.

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