I met him in a pub down in Anaheim
where he drank red wine
with a slice of fine
gorgonzola
Z - O - L - A - zola

He walked up to me and he shot me a glance
I asked what he did
he said he refinances
steamrolas
R - O - L - A - rolas
rol-rol-rola rolas

Well I'm not the world's most smart-thinking guy
so when he started to cry
I kinda thought he might
be bipola
P - O - L - A - pola

so we sat down, and he started to talk
but he seemed so distraught
that I heard what I thought
were violas
V - I - L - A......oh yes,
you're right, there's an "O" less


We discussed this girl he'd met one night...
under romantic candlelight
She picked him up n'bought him several beers
n'said, "honeypie, we should get outta here"


now he aint one of those romantic guys
so he was kind of surprised
when she goes and hires
a gondola
D - O - L - A - dola
then buys him a cola......

so, uh...
he then rocks and rollsa...
on her pianola......


They pashed th'night away!
Their love began to soar!
He thought he wanted more!
He knelt down on one knee!
and she...eagerly...said "certainly"


Wed that day, well they soon had a child
who always watched "Thomas"(1)
because he liked
Fat Controla
F - A - T - controla

Girls will be girls - she soon dumped the guy
coz whenever she cried
aint a thing that he tried
could consola
C - O - N - S - ola

Well this brings us to the present time
His ex-wife's in jail for a corporate crime
and that's why the dude is so down-in-the-mouth
she said she'd re-marry him when she gets out...

now here's why I feel compassionate, mate
it's a 10 year wait
until the earliest they
can parola
yes P - A - R - ola
or P - A - R - ole...a
(you choose)

oh, uh...
unless they cajola...
to flee to Angola....

though, uh...
they'd have to bankrolla...
and yep, her name's Lola..
(okay I'm done)