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Song Parodies -> "My Savings Pay No Interest"

Original Song Title:

"Pay You Back With Interest"

Original Performer:

The Hollies

Parody Song Title:

"My Savings Pay No Interest"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

Heard this old Hollies tune the other day, for the first time in ages. The chorus reminded me of the financial plight of people who tried to put away something for the future. You know, just in case the Mayan calendar turns out to be a crock of you know what. Politicians have been eyeing savings and retirement accounts as the next source of funds to put off the day of reckoning just a bit longer.
So many bankers greedy
I don't have much, not much at all
Now my days of saving are over

My CD pays no interest
My CD pays no interest

It's unfair to the thrifty
To rip us off the way they do
And when their plundering gets started

Won't make a dime of interest
Won't make a dime of interest

Most of my life I've been stashing
Set something aside and watching it grow
But no nest egg will be waiting

My savings earn no interest
My savings earn no interest

How low are the rates?
(So low are the rates)
My whole future is fading
I look into my account
(Not much there to count)
But there's nothing inside it

Inflation steals my interest
Inflation steals my interest

The politicians hate me
I've got too much, too much, they say
But when their cliff dive is over

They'll take away my interest
My principal and interest

My principal and interest

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AFW - December 18, 2012 - Report this comment
I guess the banki interest rate is very low for our accounts...but still better than my ex-wife..who had no interest for 15 years.
Timmy - December 18, 2012 - Report this comment
Well said - we are caught in a vice. No interest from the banks, but the other investments are very risky considering we're peering over the cliff and looking at recession. I think the banks lend to the govt. at about 3% (risk free) and give us about 0. 2%.
Patrick - December 18, 2012 - Report this comment
At least we live in "interesting" times. Supposedly an old Chinese curse.
John Barry - December 18, 2012 - Report this comment
A thief by any other name. . .Congressperson, e.g.
Meriadoc - December 18, 2012 - Report this comment
I remember this old OS! Timely use of it Patrick! :)
Good Song; Wrong TargeT - December 22, 2012 - Report this comment
Federal Reserve Board, under pressure from Congress and Administration, has been keeping wholesale rates at about zero in an attempt to prop up an economy still struggling from previous Gov't interventions, such as passing laws creating the sub-prime mortgage market, then forcing banks to lend to the unqualified.
  http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/williamshakespearehamletlordpolonius0.shtml

@ Timmy: Only for terms of 30 years, and that's been below 2.5% at times during the past year. Fixed-rate bonds like that carry considerable inflation risk: the bank or other buyer will get paid in dollars worth far less than they are today; also, if rates five years from now are 6% or 8%, that 3% looks pretty stinky.
  Currently, 1-yr Treasuries yield 0.15%, which is less than that 0.2% you're getting. A 5-yr Treasury presently yields 0.77%. You can get 0.75% from online banks without having to tie up your money for five years, and with the ability to receive higher rates should they rise in the future.

Historical bank spread (cost of funds vs. rates charged) is about 3%. For example, if they paid 3% on savings accounts, they would charge 6% on a home loan. That has to cover their salaries, rent, other business expenses, the losses from loans that go sour, etc., and what is left, if any, is the return on their and their shareholders' investment. So the current situation is not making them richer than they would under "normal" times.


Banks are not without blame in certain things, but it's getting really tiresome seeing lenders blamed for everything, especially when the real culprit is the Fed, the Congress, and the various POTUS.
Patrick - December 22, 2012 - Report this comment
One of the conspiracy theories is that the monolith is holding down interest rates to force savers to spend their money before it turns into Weimar toilet paper.. Just like everyone buying up AR-15 rifles for fear they won't be able to get one next month. Holding down interest rates does make it cheaper for the feds to pay back their debts, but, it also tends to encourage more irresponsible borrowing. Just like the housing crunch. Congress is no different, in terms of financial responsibility, than the insolvent borrowers they encouraged to take on home loans they couldn't repay. That's why Congress caters to the irresponsible, they share a cultural affinity.
Napoleon Bonapartte - December 24, 2012 - Report this comment
"Never ascribe to malice that which can be explained by stupidity". (or political self-interest).

Agree with the previous reply, except for the conspiracy part. As usual, it's not a conspiracy; it's just a bunch of pols trying to get re-elected, who screw things up more to try to fix their previous screw-ups, rather than bite some ugly (.30-cal.) bullets and do a real cure.
  Last sentence was a zinger. However, a large part is that the irresponsible voters far outnumber the responsible ones; hence, irresponsible pols, who promise things we can't afford. get elected.

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