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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Wipe Myself"
Original Song Title:
"I Can't Help Myself"
(MP3)Original Performer:
The Four Tops
Parody Song Title:
"I Can't Wipe Myself"
Parody Written by:
Joseph Little
The Lyrics
Here's another poop joke, I am wrong for this one Classic OS, loved it since I was a child
Single ply, bunch it up
You know that I tried to
I can't wipe myself
I pretend that nobody cares
up and down my crack
You go to and fro
Leaving just my pile behind
And I’ve forgotten like a thousand times
Sometimes I use my fingers
Then rub my eye
What is that on my shoe?
my eyes are red and puss-ie
And there's something on my nose
(Ooh, that’s not a booger)
Single ply, bunch it up
More filthy than a man should be
I can't wipe myself
I'm a fool hygienically
Wanna wipe right in the restroom
take a number 2
And I've tried
But every time I stink up the place
I get the bowl clogged up inside
After I do my thing, the more
It starts to cling, pulling out my hair
smearin' it all around
No matter how I try
The smell I cannot hide
Single ply, bunch it up
You know that I'm reek of poo
I can't wipe myself
I do things that nobody dares
Single ply, bunch it up
I'll do whatever HR asks me to
I can't wipe myself
I’d ask for help but nobody cares
Single ply, bunch it up
You know that I tried to
I can't wipe myself
You know that I tried to
I can't wipe myself
I pretend that nobody cares
up and down my crack
You go to and fro
Leaving just my pile behind
And I’ve forgotten like a thousand times
Sometimes I use my fingers
Then rub my eye
What is that on my shoe?
my eyes are red and puss-ie
And there's something on my nose
(Ooh, that’s not a booger)
Single ply, bunch it up
More filthy than a man should be
I can't wipe myself
I'm a fool hygienically
Wanna wipe right in the restroom
take a number 2
And I've tried
But every time I stink up the place
I get the bowl clogged up inside
After I do my thing, the more
It starts to cling, pulling out my hair
smearin' it all around
No matter how I try
The smell I cannot hide
Single ply, bunch it up
You know that I'm reek of poo
I can't wipe myself
I do things that nobody dares
Single ply, bunch it up
I'll do whatever HR asks me to
I can't wipe myself
I’d ask for help but nobody cares
Single ply, bunch it up
You know that I tried to
I can't wipe myself
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| 5 | 15 | 15 | 15 |
User Comments
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The subs for "Sugar Pie, honey bunch" are Amiright HOF eligible. The stanzas about smearing your wipe hand .. Yeesh ... On the other hand (baroomp CHING) with all the econ disruptions going on, we may all be singing this tune soon
I appreciate it! It just came to me on a drive home from work the other day, i just had to fill it out
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