I wanna tell you 'bout Purvis Flavio and his big feet
Came out of Minnesota, stomps
Really slow, full of indecision
With a black wheelbarrow all full of plaster

Some call him slovenly in his appearance
Mothers mean and spiteful of his mustard greens
He has some friends who slathered the butter on his thin back
He has constructed web pages to honor Harry Chapin
It's the reason Clarence Darrow died

The tree grows in the forest, rightly bothered
He is braying, "Forgive my blight"
Serious with Richard Masur
Drink beer by the kilometer, there are no bars
Then hear Jesus groan, "Inaccurate!"

Gimmee a kiss, and I'll tell you 'bout the clambake
I'll tell you 'bout the party and the passive dog
I'll tell you 'bout the legless knight
The singer who the words forgot
Listen to Iron Maiden, you ain't got no soul

I'll sell you this
No internal psych ward will presell a cow for wasting our time

Forgot about Purvis Flavio and his big feet
Just jivin'!
Stale and rank, like some old sandwich

Now gimme a kiss, and I'll tell you 'bout my taxes
Forget about old Purvis Flavio
I'' tell you 'bout the legless knight
Looking in the west for cream
And for a lemon and an onion roll