I had some troubles making Magic Pills,
You’ll know the new ones, like sildenafil,
In ‘62 I palmed some off and then I did some time -
Cop-assault seemed part of Love Potion Number Nine.
 
My new blue Love-Drug could be guys’ delight,
They would stand to attention for part of the night.
How hard could it be to direct their urge at chicks?
The patent gave the details since 1996.

If they’d buy my knock-offs they would never flop,
I could scope out more ingredients and set up shop;
A good place to test it might be “where King meets Queen” -
I needed a success with Generic Drug Nineteen.

I got turned around and flustered when I checked out the lists
The patent called for extracts in a strange solvent mix
I swirled it in the bathtub with some weird catalysts
It stank like Potion Nine, but I breathed in a few whiffs.
 
I packed it up though it was smoking green
And grabbed and cabbed it to the Corktown scene
But when I kissed the cop down at River Street and Queen
She smashed my 30 vials of Off-Patent Drug Nineteen.
 
Those vials were smoking green.
That lady-cop was mean !
Off Patent Drug Nineteen.
 
Psst! Psst!
If you have troubles when you’re in a hug,
There’s knock-off drug enough to fill a jug
But please ignore the fact that the pills are shocking green,
And please avoid the corner of River St and Queen

Off-Patent Drug Nineteen x3