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Song Parodies -> "Off-Patent Drug Nineteen"

Original Song Title:

"Love Potion Number Nine"

Original Performer:

The Clovers

Parody Song Title:

"Off-Patent Drug Nineteen"

Parody Written by:

Giorgio Coniglio

The Lyrics

This song imagines that Madame Ruth, famed for her earlier pharmaceutical (misad)ventures, immigrated to Canada. In November, 2012, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled that the patent on Viagra was invalid from the beginning (1996), as the company did not provide full disclosure. The Patent Act requires information to enable “any person skilled in the art or science to which it pertains” to produce it. King and Queen Streets are 2 Toronto main thoroughfares which run parallel, then intersect near River St, at the edge of an old section known as Corktown. A large ukulele jam meets weekly in a nearby pub.  
I had some troubles making Magic Pills,
You’ll know the new ones, like sildenafil,
In ‘62 I palmed some off and then I did some time -
Cop-assault seemed part of Love Potion Number Nine.
 
My new blue Love-Drug could be guys’ delight,
They would stand to attention for part of the night.
How hard could it be to direct their urge at chicks?
The patent gave the details since 1996.

If they’d buy my knock-offs they would never flop,
I could scope out more ingredients and set up shop;
A good place to test it might be “where King meets Queen” -
I needed a success with Generic Drug Nineteen.

I got turned around and flustered when I checked out the lists
The patent called for extracts in a strange solvent mix
I swirled it in the bathtub with some weird catalysts
It stank like Potion Nine, but I breathed in a few whiffs.
 
I packed it up though it was smoking green
And grabbed and cabbed it to the Corktown scene
But when I kissed the cop down at River Street and Queen
She smashed my 30 vials of Off-Patent Drug Nineteen.
 
Those vials were smoking green.
That lady-cop was mean !
Off Patent Drug Nineteen.
 
Psst! Psst!
If you have troubles when you’re in a hug,
There’s knock-off drug enough to fill a jug
But please ignore the fact that the pills are shocking green,
And please avoid the corner of River St and Queen

Off-Patent Drug Nineteen x3
Alternative title, "Madame Ruth's Lament"

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - March 05, 2013 - Report this comment
Don Giorgio - That's (performance enhancing drug) amore! This parody is is patently funny...no generic knock-off. Do you ever sing your parodies at the jam session? I use some of mine at karaoke. ;D
Giorgio Coniglio - March 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Yes, I have played some at open-mike sessions; did “Canoeing Lesson” last night, adding a few more verses. I usually use projected slides (chords and lyrics) allowing sing-along participation by other ukers. Don’t ever want to stand up to perform, have others feel bad, belittled or bored. Unfortunately, many parodies posted here need to remain as “singable soliloquys”. A point in rating parodies at AIR? COMMENTS?

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