Song Parodies -> "Michelle"

Original Song Title:

"Michelle"

Original Performer:

"Michelle"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

The Ladies' gold medal at Nationals was won for the ninth time by Michelle Kwan in an orgasmic love-fest Saturday night. Her eagerly awaited "Bolero" program, however, is not exactly living up to its hype, and it isn't technically difficult enough to win gold in an international competition. There! I said it! Some may call it figure skating heresy. I call it tough love.

Michelle, aw hell
"Bolero" has not begun to jell
Very well
I'll tell Michelle
You won't win at Worlds with such a skate
Slutskaya's great

We love you, we love you, we love you
But if the truth be told
Your program's not worth gold
If you can't catch fire and get inspired you won't win at Worlds
Michelle, ma belle
Judges gave you Nine like Pavlov's dog
Like Pavlov's dog

We want to, we want to, we want to
See you go all the way
And keep the kids at bay
Pick up the pace, you'll win first place
Make Dick Button's day
We love you!

Olympics, Olympics, Olympics
Are coming up next year
So get your ass in gear
Stop on the beat, stay on your feet
You might win at Worlds
Michelle, ma belle
Judges gave you Nine like Pavlov's dog
Like Pavlov's dog
And if you don't catch fire and get inspired
You won't win at Worlds
Try, Michelle

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John Barry - January 18, 2005 - Report this comment

5s for the Pavlov's Dog image.

Ravyn Rant - January 18, 2005 - Report this comment

Ah, we have more than one figure skating fan on the site! Whoot! Thanks for the high score - when the ISU wants to investigate the judging scandal, don't forget that we've never met and I've never given you any money. :)

2Eagle - January 18, 2005 - Report this comment

Maybe they forgot the Zamboni.

Laurie Knowles - January 18, 2005 - Report this comment

Perfect! All 5s. Now let Michelle read it.:)

Jeff Reuben - January 19, 2005 - Report this comment

This song's got a nice edge to it, cool!

Ravyn Rant - January 19, 2005 - Report this comment

Thanks, all!

Rod Worden - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment

I love her, too! And you iced this one, RR, 5s.

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