Something is making me sad
Please let me explain, yeah
Just got a look at the wife
I married today
Got a good look at my bride
There were some things she did hide
When I found out I just sighed
She's got no hair

She's got a plastic left knee
it swivels around - Gad!
From one eye she cannot see
at night it comes out
Wonder if anything's real
Elbows are made out of steel
Breasts now I'm afraid to feel
I'm just too scared

When we made love she kept off the lights
That didn't seem right
I should have asked "why", I see
She's got some biker's name on her thigh
and with her legs spread
that biker's head stares at me

This situation I have
It won't go away, bleah!
She needs a liver transplant
her old one is frayed - bad
Giving my stomach the eye
pokes my abdomen at night
can't sleep; I don't even try
I just don't dare

We get in bed; she looks at her knife
I'd better act nice
She might take a slice of me
I'm scared to death; I cannot deny
I picked the wrong wife
That was not too bright, I see

And now she's talking real sweet
Says, "Baby, calm down", Hah!
"Why are you frightened of me?"
She said with a frown

"Well, Baby, I'm scared for my life
Stressed out from all of this strife
Should not have made you my wife"
And she just stared
Please save me, I'm scared; She's crazy - beware
More than I can bear; I'm filled with despair
I'm having nightmares; now kneeling in prayer