Song Parodies -> "Vlad The Impaler (Attorney At Law)"

Original Song Title:

"Eleanor Rigby"

Original Performer:

"Vlad The Impaler (Attorney At Law)"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

If Vlad the Impaler aka Vlad Dracul aka Count Dracula, was transplanted to New York in 2004, what would he do? Here's a suggestion... plus a plea for non-discriminatory hiring of the undead...

Ca...reer advice for undead people
Ca...reer advice for undead people

Vlad the Impaler..
Senior partner: Impaler, Delaney and Moore-
Corporate Law
Not to be messed with
Head of a rival he keeps on a stake by his door
Gruesome decor

Yuppy, undead people; what are they perfect for?
Yuppy undead people; careers in corp'rate law

Look at that zombie
Got a degree from Miami but can't get no work
As a bank clerk
Although he's clever
Citibank wouldn't employ coz of his rancid smell
He won't excel...

Jobless undead people; begging for change on streets
Jobless undead people; the odour of defeat

Ca...reer advice for undead people
Ca...reer advice for undead people

Zombies and vampires
Have a work ethic that you cannot help but admire
Never retire
Don't need apartments;
After a day's work, return to the coffin or grave
Money they save..

Hire undead people, for your office or store
Hire undead people, and watch your profits soar!

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Phil Alexander - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

Very original, K1chyd... Say, isn't it Mr Slant, the zombie lawyer in Ankh-Morpork?

Know 1 can hear you dream - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

Sorry Phil, this one is't mine, I did fill my zombie parody quota last friday. Maybe you have too many windows open at the same time?. BTW: 5 brains!

Arwen - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

A gruesome delight, Kristof!! 5s...

Ashkicksass - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

This is terrific! Weird...but terrific!

John Barry - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

Terrific indeed. Although Kerry/Edward like lawyers, this song describes the current administration nicely.

alvin rhodes - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

must be getting close to halloween...5s

Meriadoc - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

Some nice rhymes.

MasonR - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

Wow--this is wonderfully twisted. I laughed my head off. Then I put it back on and voted 5's.

Billy Florio - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

So clever lol...great job

Stuart McArthur - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment

love your imagination, love your pacing, Kristof. You're right about them undead types - if they band together and start a non-discrimination class action, there'll be hell to pay - 555 - loved this one

Kristof Robertson - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment

Many thanks to everyone who commented and voted....Phil- thanks for the vote, loved the Discworld reference, don't stress about getting my name wrong!...K1chyd- great job! 5's..oh, I forgot, I wrote this! :-)...Arwen- mwahahahaha! Cheers babe....Ash- weird is what I do!...John- I never saw any political parallels, but now you mention it...Alvin- mwahahahaha (part 2).....Merry- Cheers!...Mason- Don't do yourself an injury!:-)....Billy- much appreciated...Stuart- aw shucks; you say the nicest things...byeeeee!

Johnny D - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment

Must be Halloween season...bloody good parody!

Dee Range - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment

Lmfao! Excellent, Kristof ...5's

Ravyn Rant - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment

Do you know how hard it is to laugh without making any noise? I've got to stop reading these things at work...oh, fives. Three of 'em. :)

Phil Alexander - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment

Oops... sorry, Kristof - well, they both begin with K :-)

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