I am SO with you on this one, Dee. I am more bothered by various odors than by anything else...555...

Yee-haw, so many frickin' excellent lines, Dee! Love it!

Don't you see what's happening here? It's attached itself to me! It's alive! You see! You see what I'm saying to you? It's a presence! It's the beast!

Well it don't smell like teen spirit and that's a good thing. Even this smells bettr than that lame tune. Well done Dee. 555 on the olfactometer.

Inspiring. You must be in Washington.

Ripe stuff, DR...5's...AHH...reminds me of a little story...when I was managing the Supply Sergeant Surplus store in Hollywood (1982-1986, as I recall) we had to deal with a lot of homeless people. Most were kind of harmless but you had to stay alert and keep your eyes open - and be ready for anything, although usually most of what they did was just nutty and not particularly dangerous, bad or threatening. Anyway, one extremely hot July afternoon, temperature well into the 90's, this homeless woman comes in wearing really tattered, dirty and stinky clothes. She doesn't say a word, just starts walking briskly around the store and picking out a bunch of clothing items one at a time and then carrying each one up the the cash register area and setting it on the counter. We all figured when it came time to ring it up she wouldn't have a cent and we would have to put it all back. Anyway, this went on for the better part of an hour. She was picking out all sorts of stuff, a military-issue field jacket, a surplus trench coat , surplus fatigue shirts, fatigue pants, para-trooper pants (lots of extra padding all through it), a couple packs of underwear, socks, boots, and a few various miscellaneous items. So she finally finishes picking stuff out. Comes up to the register, still not saying word one, and gestures toward the stuff and then points to the register to ring it up. The cashier looks at me and I shrug and nod "yes". So we get to the end, $212. and some loose change was the total. We're all expecting an empty-handed shrug, but instead she takes off one of her reeking boots, AND the reeking sock below it and pulls a wad of bills out. $210.00 in all, and hands it to the cashier (who kinds of guides it down to the counter with the tip of one finger - those bills were just incredibly wretched smelling. I face the lady and point to the $212.-- amount and she shrugs at me...I go, "well, OK....close enough" and tell the cashier to do a discount for the difference that I would OK. But, we're not done here yet...NO...not yet...The cashier starts to bag the stuff, but the woman gestures her off - picks out about 2/3 of all the clothing, and I mean cold-weather gear for the most part. Then she heads to the dressing room, takes off all her old stuff and puts ALL this stuff on!! The she comes out and dumps the old stuff in a pile right in front of the cash register area, gestures to the cashier to bag up her other newly purchased gear and heads on out into the still very, very hot 90+ degree summer heat. You know, that was probably our biggest sale of that entire month! It was so hot that July that most of the customers that came in only bought real light, cool type clothing, and for the most part not much of it.

disgustingly funny

Good stuff Dee! Funny! 5's

Gasp! Could it be that one guy has finally learned what pacing is, though he still retains a sense of humor that matches your parody subject...? No, I didn't think so!

Peregrin, I guess I either insulted someone with stinky feet, or some homeless guy with a computer...:-). The 1's don't bother me, I look at it as a badge of honor, really, that someone is jealous of my work. Since all the great writers on this site have been "one'd" before, this must be a right of passage, where some small minded individual thinks it will make me mad or hurt me somehow. However, the comments below the song are the reason I write, people letting me know I made them chuckle or whatever. Any coward can click a mouse to vote, it takes balls to leave 1's with a comment and a name , and this "one" guy obviously has no balls. Thanks everyone who left comments, for all the nice things you said, and I really mean this. I don't even care if anyone votes on these parodies of mine at all. I DO appreciate the comments. Thanks again everyone

Her feet may stink, but your parody doesn't! Great job!

Ravyn Rant, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Much appreciated