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Song Parodies -> "I Saw Her Hand In There"

Original Song Title:

"I Saw Her Standing There"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"I Saw Her Hand In There"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

The eighth parody of this song to date, dedicated to Rick Duncan, still the king of Beatles parodies.
She was at least 83
And she sat next to me
On a Greyhound bus--
Why did I talk to her?!?
I woke from my nap with a shudder,
Whoa--
When I saw her hand in there!

Well, she gave a squeeze
And I asked, "Granny, please,
Do release your hold
On my testiculars!"
But she wouldn't pass up her druthers,
No!
And her paw was crammed in there!

Well, my mind said, "Ew!"
Cuz her hair was blue
And I felt her hand
On my weeeeee-nieeeee!

So we traveled that night
With her palm clamped on me tight
And before too long
I had become inured....
Then she put a half stick of butter,
Whoa!
And I warmed her hand in there!

What a long strange trip!
What a "Jaws" death grip!
With her strong firm hand
On my weeeee-nieeeee!

After 6 freakin' hours
Well, old Grams was smellin' sour
And I found no pulse
On her left jugular!
Well, she had collapsed,
Poor grandmother,
Oh!
With her claw still cramped in there!
Old rigor mortis hand in there!
Yeah, well, with my buttered clams in there!
©Bob "I Think I've Been Spending Too Much Time On Buses Lately" Gomez 2004

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   24
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rick D - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm going to have this mounted in a plaque, take it to work, and tell everyone this was dedicated to me. Then I'm going to run like hell! Bob, this would be a great Twilight Zone episode. On cable.
Johnny D - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
"Twilight Zone", yeah.... or .... "Pole Train" ..... or...."My Granny Vise".....or....."Earth: Final Deathgrip" ....or.... "Regis and Smelly"....or...."Ballville".....or....."Clawson's Reek".....or....."SurviveHer".....?
mac - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Hehehehehe.
Royce Miller - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Bob, very funny parody, and this story is not so far fetched when riding on a Greyhound--I have some awful Greyhound tales myself
Robert J. Pagliaro - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh man. And I thought the Crying Game was scary. Nice work. bob
Phil Alexander - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
And another one rides the bus... hold on, that's a different song. Congratulations, Bob, on providing something with a higher Ewwww factor than "Dubya Does Dallas"
The Thought Police - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Wolves have been known to chew their own legs off to get out of a trap...(555)
Guy - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm surprised that there wasn't more off hand comments on this one. Still gotta hand it to you Bob. Rosie palm and her four sisters make five.
Stray Pooch - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Damn, man, when they say "Leave the driving to us . . ." I like the multiple rhymes on the refrain line (her paw still crammed in there). But I gotta say, you have some seriously warped fantasies - or real bad luck on buses . . . Imagine riding on a Greyhound being groped by a grey hound . . .
Bob Gomez, having no intention of riding a Greyhound - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Um, my warped fantasies don't make it onto this website. Besides, this wasn't a fantasy (at least I hope not)--it was a nightmare. I am the kind of person who tends to listen to people for too long on buses, so it kind of grew from there (no pun intended) (at least I hope not).......Thanks everybody. I still think we should plan a ParodyFest for next summer. Thoughts?.......d;:^)
Mari D - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Cute! Oh, well... when life gives you lemons... Was she seated next to Ratso Rizzo?
alvin rhodes - September 01, 2004 - Report this comment
damn, that was sick...funny as hell, though...5s
Peregrin - September 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Just think, had she been naked, where would she have kept her loose change? Good one bob!
Charlie Decker - September 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Best. Parody. Ever. Or one of the best, anyway. Fantastic.
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny enough (or not) I´ve actually been groped by a lady of that age, though it was from behind and a firm pinch at my buttocks.

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