I ate some lunch today, oh boy
Another yucky pan that she had made
And though the possum was quite bad
I didn't even laugh
I knew its' epitaph

It got run over by her car
She never saw him...putting lipstick on
A crowd of possums stood and stared
They'd seen him fat before
Now they didn't know for sure if he was dad or just a board.....

I saw her nude today, oh boy
Her saggin' boobies had just hit the floor
The strap on her bra broke away
Well I just had to gawk
Now I'm still in shock

'Cause that don't turn... me... on

Woke up, rolled up a dube, dropped the roach down in my pubes
Found my way upstairs to find some cream
I saw my wife, and I hoped it was a dream

Found her bloated, flabbed and fat, made me puke in seconds flat
Found my way downstairs and went outside
My numb body shook as I then began to scream

ARRGHHHHHH!!!!...........

I had more lunch today, oh boy
Four thousand Rolaids...heartburn disappeared
And now my stomach's rather small
I hardly eat a lot
If I do next thing ya know I'd fill a cemetery plot

She seems to burn...it...all